Earn a title, get more flack

I have noticed that ever since I earned my PhD, that people just LOVE to not only argue more, but get snarky. I had been thinking that for a while, and a friend brought it up to me today...she said "what is it, all you do is disagree with someone, you write professionally, clearly, and don't call anyone names, or make smart ass comments, and BAM, they get all snotty". She is right, well for the most part. Not everyone does that, but a lot more people do it than did before I had "Dr" showing before my name. I was actually talking to my husband about that the other night. People can be in a discussion , having the same opinion as me, and I am the asshole. It has to be the title. I asked some others if they have had the same experience and the response was anything from "Hell YES" to "I have certainly noticed that change myself". Many think it is the strength and confidence most people with titles have, theat may be part of it, but I think people see "Dr" and think...I am going to show how much  smarter, better, stronger, tougher, I am. They fail miserably.

The consensus is that people have lives where they generally do not feel empowered, maybe a bad job,relationship, income, home life. People who are secure in their place in the world don't attack, there is no need to. I especially think it is funny when talking about people's motivations and feelings...after all I do also have a degree based in Psychology. Yeah, I would have no idea about that motivation stuff.

I earned my PhD because I thought the subject (world religions, metaphysics, healing, empowerment) was fascinating. It is, and I loved every minute of the 3 years it took to complete. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I did it for me because I love to learn, not to get attention. I rarely use my title, but use it online as it doesn't help for people authentically looking for help from me. It gives them some confidence in me. I have learned to ignore the people who seem to have an issue with it. You can't win a debate with a person who is angry at you for no reason other than a tag in front of your name.(My Mom used to say that you couldn't win a battle of wits with an unarmed person, because it would be so inhumane to fight).

People also just aren't that informed (see I used a nice word), they don't get it, the whole "Dr" thing. I met a man once in person for the first time, he said something along the lines of me being a medical doctor. I told him no I was not, I was a PhD. He said....oh so you are an animal doctor, ummm, no that is a DVM. His response was, oh so you really aren't a real doctor. I said, I am not a medical doctor if that is what you mean, but I am a real doctor. That left him totally puzzled, how could someone have "Dr" in front of their name and  not lance boils?

There was also a young lady (again , believe me I am being nice) , the other day online who was asking about a photo she took of herself in the mirror and if it were paranormal. I told her no, and why. She didn't like that answer, so she told me to get off the page (yeah just a rude person to begin with), and go to a page about doctoring, like where they are talking about healthcare or something. I told her that I was not a medical doctor and thanks for the suggestion, but "no thanks".

People like to suggest I am some kind of idiot, people don't get PhDs being an idiot, they get them for thinking for themselves. When you are in grammar school and high school, much of what you do is memorize things and learn processes, like the capitols of states and your times tables. When you get to college you are expected to think. When you get to grad school you are expected to think to the level of figuring something out that no one did before you, and/or finding new solutions or ways of looking at something....all depending on what you are studying. My Thesis was on healing and people's beliefs, along with the power of the mind to heal. I guess I skated right up to that medical doctor thing everyone seems to be so hung up on. My psychology training helped greatly with that Thesis.

The psychology student from the past gets awakened when things happen like people being so aggressive and even nasty when you have a title. Most people I talked to call it "educational racism". Meaning, people who hate a person just becasue they had a higher education. No other reason...well that and you disagree with them.

 It isn't just "dr", but that is what I have had experience with. The internet gives people a wall to hide behind and makes them nastier than ever to each other to begin with. We used to call it "phone muscles" years ago....people would say things on the phone (especially to someone they didn't know), more than face to face. The internet takes the lack of "face to face" to a whole new level. I am a Jersey Girl, I could come up with things to say to people that would stun them, I lived in a place where people spoke their mind, and I can tear you up with words....I don't do that anymore, I am a better person than when I was younger, but I am good at holding back now, actually what I do is ignore them, makes them feel better, and keeps my BP down. You can't change the minds of people like that (they don't want to know any different than they believe), so you let it go.

I disagree with someone on the ne,t and I get an instant nasty, aggressive, and even smart ass answer. It is almost automatic. Another "dr" told me she figures , if you can't beat them....and she starts off anything she says aggressively. She says, "there is always one out there, sometimes two". She is sadly correct.

There are certain things I know a lot about, and certain things I know nothing about. The things I know nothing about, I listen/read carefully. The things I know much about, I speak up about. The things people say on the internet are just pathetic. A person posted a photograph asking what something in the photograph was, there was a person holding the object out from a cell phone to get the picture...some wonderful person said "it is a fat arm, go on a diet". Wow, talk about needing some empowerment in their lives.

When you realize all nasty attacks come from people who have a low opinion of themselves inside (although they won't tell you that), and that they are just insecure people who wouldn't talk like that to your face, you just walk away and shake your head. I do that an awful lot lately.

When you are on the internet, in any form, be  nicer. Does it really make you feel better to tell people they need to get off the page (and then they don't), or that they will "never get it" (when they think...you will never get life),or that most other people are thinking...why is that person being an ass? People don't look up to rudeness, at least good, emotionally stable and secure people don't. You don't look "strong" you look like a whiny jerk. I have said this before and I will say it again...

TREAT OTHERS AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE TREATED.

It doesn't matter if they have Mrs, Ms, Dr, Sir or anything else in front of their name. They are proud of that title, and should be, some worked hard for that title, and it isn't a carte blanche to be a jerk to them....and by the way, they can handle your bad behavior for the most part, people don't get to that level reacting badly to the nasty idiots of the world. People don't walk away because they are weak, they walk away because they have self respect and won't sink to your level.

Treat others as you would like to be treated....
AND
DO the right things for the right reasons.

People ARE allowed to disagree with you, really they are. Doesn't make them stupid, fat, or assholes. It makes them thinking human beings.

Treat people nicer and see how your world improves. Be secure with yourself and be happier. It really is not difficult at all.

NAMASTE!

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