Thursday, November 29, 2012

Holiday mayhem...

Clients are already going through the holiday worry, of wanting to know if they will have a person "to spend the holidays with". I understand that the holidays are supposed to be fun and festive. Hollywood and TV has made us think of holiday time as huge family gatherings, glamorous parties or romantic times by the fire. It has made us believe that Christmas , along with Valentine's Day, is a failure without a diamond gift.

Really?

I can see holidays being about families in SOME families. There are families however, that are problematic to the point of dysfunctional or abusive. You do NOT have to include those people in your holiday in a big way, or at all. Holidays are NOT about romance. Holidays are not about diamonds. Holidays are not about spending time with someone who makes you feel guilty, fearful, sad, angry or any other negative emotion. Giving birth to a person , or being a biological father, does NOT automatically allow you control of your offspring's schedule. When you aren't a good parent, or if you are an abusive parent, then you don't get time at all.....period.

What holidays are about depends on the holiday. Thanksgiving is about giving thanks for what we have, and if you have been doing the "days of thankfulness daily ritual", you have at least 29 things so far. I won't get into Christmas yet, as that is a whole blog in and of itself, but it isn't about what you may think it is. Christmas was a pagan celebration way before Jesus of Nazareth was born. It has however become a time of celebration, and celebrated in different ways around the world. It is a time of celebration , food, and parties OR a time of peace, contemplation, and reaping the harvest of your year that has just passed.

You don't have to have a bunch of friends or a significant other to celebrate the holiday. Last time I checked the only "significant other day" was Valentine's Day. Sometimes having a partner just makes it harder to do. The key is to NOT take your clues from anyone else, and certainly not TV ads, shows or the movies. The key is to do what you can do that makes you happy, content, peaceful, and serene. It is not a day put on the calendar to make you upset or depressed. I know, easier said than done for some. Remember to change the things you can (Serenity Prayer), and not sweat what you cannot control or change. What would be the point?

There are holidays I have spent with family, and without. Close to home, far away from home. Dressing up for parties and sitting home in my sweats and a warm quilt. Single, married, divorced, and married again. They were all good days and I wouldn't trade any of them for anything. They all had a meaning, a feeling, and a peace to them that I embraced.

Just because it is a holiday , it is not a time to rush to find a significant other. This is probably the worst time actually. I have clients stressing because their new partner will be away with family and families stressing because their members are with others all the time at Christmas. Get over it!  I mean seriously, do not try to control the things you can't. You can invite, you can rearrange schedules, but you cannot make somone spend a holiday with you. The result of forcing people to do things with you (and maybe even like spending time with you) just ends up being a huge mess.

Find people who want to be with you, who resonate with you. Don't try to force people to be with you, it never works in the long run. Those who threaten and try to make people do what they want end up alone , or at least without that person near them. People go where they feel comfortable in the long run. You can force, make people feel guilty, or demand, but in the long run all you are building is resentment.

When you are constantly alone on the holidays , and not out of choice, examine why. YOU are the common denominator. What is it about you what makes people stay away? It is a hard journey to find that answer. But you have to BE what you want. When you want Prince Charming, you have to BE Princess Charming.

Make the holidays YOUR special day. The day set aside to celebrate YOUR way. When you want a celebration, create it! When you don't, don't. There are many who are content with their own company , and there is nothing wrong with that, but there is something of an issue with needing a person to make anything "complete". A person in your life is not there to complete you, but to complement you.


Do the right things for the right reasons!



Peshaui Wequashimese


(C) 2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Being thankful all year long.

A couple of years ago I started a challenge. The challenge was for people to think about what they were thankful for beginning with November first. It got everyone in the Thanksgiving mood, and the reminders of the holiday helped to remind people to be thankful. A nice little circle.

The idea is, that if you program yourself to be in tune with the Universe, God, Buddha or whatever you resonate with, then you become a thankful person, swimming in thankful energy and you have more abundance in your life. There IS something to be thankful for everyday, there is actually more than one thing, and this exercise trains you, and helps you form a good habit.

Lots of folks started the plan and some even went to the point of posting everyday (not a requirement, but OK to do) on social networking sites. Thanksgiving has passed and the comments have dried to a trickle.

Has anyone continued the practice? A few have and they will find things turn better and better for them, but where is everyone else? Don't you want a more thankful and abundant life? SURE you do!

You can do it in private, but make sure that you are still noting something every day to be thankful for. It may be something that happened that day, or something that has been ongoing in your life. It doesn't matter, don't be afraid that you will repeat something three months from now, that is OK, it also sends a message to the Universe. It is also OK to wait to the end of the day , or to name three or four things you were thankful for that day!

Being positive and seeing things positively, brings positive energy around you and makes things better everyday. You learn that even when things don't go exactly as you would have wanted or planned, that there is STILL something or things to be thankful for. Your whole mindset and energy changes, and it becomes a perpetual motion machine of bringing in better and better.

The Universe sometimes has to take away to bring in new, when we learn to trust and have faith, then we never fear, we never doubt and we never have harsh lessons. We learn that when things don't go our way, maybe that is becasue there was a better way. We have to look back to see the exact reason for things sometimes, but when you have the faith, you don't bother looking back, searching for answers, or sweating the small stuff. You just move forward.

Be openly thankful every day. Use a journal to make sure that you are doing it if you need help....here is another push...the Universe said to get back on track! SO what are you thankful for today?????



Peshaui Wequashimese



(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf, may not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Days and dates and more, oh my!

I do get email all the time asking if the world will end on December 21, 2012. No it won't, it sure will transform as far as consciousness, awareness, abilities, energy, and Karma is concerned.  I suppose that for some,  their world will end, or at least shift dramatically.

Some are asking about 12/12/12. People do get all excited about dates, don't they?  I suppose many of them are numerologists. I never put much faith in numerology. I suppose there is something to it, yet all the special "dates" that have come and gone in my life , in the form of special looking numbers, have been ordinary days. For example, can you remember 11/11/11 being a life changing day in your world? You probably can't remember a single thing about that day. I don't. I have a memory like an elephant. Yet people get excited about the dates. Eleven is a master number in numerology, so 11/11/11 was supposed to be very special. It was very mundane.

We will have to wait and see. The Mayans were astrologers, not numerologists, so to associate 12/12/12 with 12/21/12 would be a grave mistake. They didn't pick it becasue the numbers looked well together, they picked the date as a series of dates over millions of years. They also didn't say we were all going to die. They predicted a celestial change that would bring us in contact with our roots from the stars.

Modern people made the Mayan "prophecy" what it is. They added volcanoes, tidal waves, and earth shifting on its' axis to scare the heck out of a lot of people. It worked. Books, movies, classes galore. There are so many "end of world" people hoarding and hiding that it is scary. They are scary! Much scarier than the date itself.

The date 12/21 is a date of shift, but it is also a date where consciousness opens and people who have been on the right path reap the benefits of that more open consciousness. Some won't reap that benefit, they will reap nothing but in some cases, a visit from Karma. Things will be more on a reward basis then they have been in the past. The opening of the consciousness will allow you more insight, and ability to bring in love, health and abundance.

The date 12/21 is an ending of sorts, but more importantly, it is a new beginning.

December 12 is just a Monday, very like 11/11/11.

Don't get caught up in the hype like everyone who ran to take classes to learn about the end of the world and how to protect themselves during that event (either by hoarding food or getting attunements). There is MUCH to the metaphysical, but there is also way too many people who create drama for the fun of it, or through disillusion. There are too many people who claim a special knowledge of the world who are just plain crazy.There are lastly, a BUNCH of people who create things out of whole cloth to sell you something. Spiritual help is ALWAYS free of charge, don't let anyone sell you salvation!

Please be careful, and check everything out. Always believe with a grain of salt.

A touch of skepticism is what makes a good seeker of true knowledge.
Keep that touch of skepticism, and check everything out before you pass it along.


Peshaui Wequashimese





(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission




Monday, November 26, 2012

Gut check time

Last week , when I was on "blog vacation", there were people who said "you should write a blog about..." more than ever. Maybe it was the holiday season, who knows, but there seemed to be a lot of folks asking themselves, "What are people doing, have they lost their minds?"

When I go back and review what people said about topics for a blog, they all came down to the same thing, people having some kind of presumption that they are better than, and act better than everyone else. Their way is the ONLY way, there is not an option.

BULLCRAP.

Life is FULL of options. God, The Universe, or whatever you wish to call the highest power would not have needed to give us free will if their were no options! People need to take the "Holier than thou" crap and stow it. Prime example, those few politicians who said stupid self righteous things during the elections, along the lines of a child resulting from rape being God's will. Where are they now? Not in any office. People will tolerate difference of opinion, they won't tolerate egotistical crap.

The second part, and more important, because as you can see, the idiots of the first part do themselves in, is that people want others to conform, to do things a certain way, at a certain time, and tag "or else" on the end of that statement. Yet most times (not all), they will NOT do that particular thing themselves. They don't have the courage or the strength to do something, so they try to get someone else to do it for them. They need a gut check.

Before you try to coerce someone into doing something, you best be ready to do it yourself. When you think about it and decide not to, don't try to get someone else to do your dirty work for you. Some may have physical handicaps that prevent them from doing things, but even that is limited. I have seem handicapped people that you couldn't stop from doing things no matter how hard you try, and at the same time there is a person with a paper cut whining that they can't...fill in the blank.

When we stand up and shout, we best be ready to do things ourselves. Prime example, most multilevel marketers, another complaint that same in over the holiday weekend. The key to success in this type of "business" is getting other people, as many as possible, and the more the richer, to do your selling for you. The key is to get so many worker bees out there investing that you sit back and sip mint juleps.

A multilevel marketing program ALWAYS only greatly benefits the first guy in the door, and unless you invented the product or procedure, you will never be the first guy in the door. You can make money, but become a millionaire? No, the guy who got you involved will ALWAYS make more than you.

When you aren't out on the front lines, that can be OK, not everyone is made for every role. However, when you keep trying to get others to do your work for you, then you have a problem.

When Dec 21 comes around, the world will not end, but there will be that accounting so many worry about when they die. The accounting that says "you are on the good list", "you are not". Time is short. Groups are breaking up and reforming, change is in relationships, friendships, and the way we do things. It never was about "me me me", but it is even less about it now. Less to the point of ZERO.

I saw an interesting class description the other day, it talks about what I have been saying for about 3 years now. We need to shift and be that person that always tries to do the right thing for the right reasons (my words, but the same concept). It went on to describe who the people are that are going to be left behind, they sound like people who have been in my blogs. They are those that spread fear through email and social networking sites with stories of things that never happened (like don't open your door if you hear a baby crying). They are people who thrive on conspiracy theories and live in fear. They are people who believe and preach any hateful, mudslinging, smearing crap. They are people who want things to go wrong so they have something to whine about.They are people who put down others less fortunate, or who are of a different race (we all began as the same race people), belief system, or culture. They are people who first worry about how something will effect their pocket, not that child lying on the street starving.

They are people who do nothing while others suffer. There are people who do good only so they can brag about it. They are people who think going to church every Sunday, and donating to charities every now and then for bragging rights,  while being a jerk every other day, will save them.It won't. There isn't a tit for tat.

You can't play the Universe. You can't act like you are doing the right thing. You are or you are not. You aren't expected to be perfect, but when you know you shouldn't do something and do it anyway, that is a problem. When you do something to be hurtful or spiteful, when you spread fear, when you scam people, when the most important thing to you is your ego....Dec 21 is not going to be a good day for you. When you try to make others feel guilty when they don't' do what you want them to, or you use threats to make people stay with you or help you, when you treat anyone with disrespect, it won't be a good day for you. You won't burst into flames, but if you think your life is going downhill now......The new part to all this, is the people on the right side of the see-saw will finally get positive to flow towards them more freely. They will get rewarded where in the past rewards were not always immediate or visible. Now this will start to shift.

Do a gut check. Are you really doing the right things for the right reasons? Last chance, you have less than a month to go. And if anyone tries to get you into the latest multilevel marketing scheme that is going around, tell them, no thanks, YOU invest.


Peshaui Wequashimese



(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Just the way it is supposed to be

Everything big happens for a reason, and some of the little things do too. Everything is in hand, and the only thing that makes the world go sideways is the free will of people. This doesn't stop anything, but it can delay things while the world is put to right.The free will of people does NOT effect the BIG things, just the LITTLE things. The world is just the way The Universe wants it, and just becasue you cannot understand all the intricacies, or like the results, doesn't mean it isn't so.

Everything is as it is supposed to be today. Everything.

You can gripe and complain and think of 10 things YOU don't like, but it is still the way it is supposed to be. Everything. This world is not without problems, but it is also NOT in the midst of some terrible, chaotic mess, downfall, or some other "the sky is falling" scenario.

I am so sick to death of people whining about things. Whining about their situations that they created. Whine about the weather, costs of things, who is President, and why don't they have a significant other. Whine whine whine about things they created! You see,  the Universe, which really is MUCH wiser than you, has it all in hand. The Universe cannot please everyone and it does not try to please ANYONE, so it does what is best for us in that time and space.

We may have a flat tire to keep us from getting to a place in the road where we would have a life threatening injury. The Universe knows MUCH that you don't, and is making things the best for us. Each of us. If your life is miserable, you need to look hard in the mirror, the culprit is there.
People wonder why they have a string of major financial issues, or breakups. Like Dr Phil says, what is the common denominator? The answer would be "you are".

We are each responsible for our own situation and our happiness and acceptance of it. When you are miserable and resistant to life, change, and new ways of doing things (or ways you wouldn't prefer), you will be miserable and unsuccessful for days on end. People who accept challenges, fix things, try new thinking, and keep positive attitudes are the ones who succeed and enjoy life. Like energy attracts like energy. These people aren't all healthy, or financially wealthy. They aren't all with partners, or invited out every Friday night to some fun event, yet they are happy, positive, and forward moving. Why? THEY CHOOSE TO BE.

Don't mire yourself in the muck of complaints, unhappiness, and for goodness sakes, wild stories, crazy conspiracies and lies. You waste your positive attitude, love and energy on those things. You attract negative, scattered energy to you, after all , you must love it since you seek it out and swim in it every day. This does NOTHING for you or the Universe you share.

Everything is just the way it is SUPPOSED to be. The Universe makes it so, and what goes on under YOUR roof, YOU created.

One word of advice for those who are young generations, I was discussing this with some young people the other day.....GO TO SCHOOL. Better yet, go to a trade school, or college. High school is NOT enough. You will never get rich on a high school education unless you are some genius who will somehow invent the next Facebook, and the odds of that are astronomical. People who struggle to make ends meet are people who never made it out of school or stopped before they should have. Young adults, it isn't too late, go BACK to school, or learn a trade. YOU are responsible for your life, your wealth, your happiness. You can't put that BMW in the driveway with an 8th grade education. There are several ways to achieve this. I worked 38 hours a week while I went to college.My single parent Mom who got minimum wage and I did it, all by ourselves!  NO EXCUSES. This is THE most important thing you will do for yourself in your young life.

YOU and ONLY YOU are responsible for your situation, your attitude, and your well being. The Universe has all the rest in hand, and when you work WITH the Universe wonderful things happen.

Focus on the positive and move forwards.Remove fear from your life!  Remove negativity, hate, and gloom and doom from your life, and MOVE FORWARD. Help, cooperate, and understand that not everyone needs and wants what you do, you are part of a world community, and sometimes that means NOT getting what you want today. Have faith in the Universe and when things don't go your way , say "there is a reason for this that I do not need to understand".

Accept, learn, grow, and MOVE FORWARD. Change your life, only YOU can do that too!



Peshaui Wequashimese



(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Haunted places aren't cheap.

I had an email last night from a lady who wants to go on ghost hunts. She didn't realize two things. One is that you cannot always just traipse onto a cemetery and start hunting, and two, that it cost money to do those things.

Remember that TV edits out a lot of stuff. You don't get to see Zack making reservations, or Jason making dinner arrangements. That would all bore you to death. There is a  "Script" to these things. We have intros, or in the case of Ghost Adventures, they find places for their "X" cameras. It is TV. This doesn't mean the results aren't real, but the hour of investigation is more like 8-12 hours, many of those with NOTHING happening. The investigation can even be over multiple nights. The hunters all, eat, use the bathroom, take breaks and do all of those human things we all do.

When my questioner wasn't sure she could scrape up $100 to visit Waverly,I reminded her that $100 was about the average for haunted sites. That however is only the beginning.  There is gas money, food, equipment, batteries, snacks, and more, and that is just going "locally". When you venture out to Villisca for example, the cost goes up even more.

Ghost Hunting costs money.Most likely the Travel Channel and Sy-fy won't be supplementing your trip, so it is all up to you.Many places want deposits up front, and the deposits are getting more expensive because many back out at the last minute (Villisca is now $200 non refundable). People backing out is a huge problem with a group in the first place, organizing one of these forays into the dark, is like planning a third world invasion where half your army is defecting. It can be a hair pull for sure.

Haunted sights usually charge a fee. There are some that are haunted hotels and after you pay for your room, the "ghost hunt" is free (I believe the Stanley Hotel still have free options for ghost hunts, but they are short, and in a large group). When you want a place to yourself, it is expensive. The cheapest will most likely run you $100 per person, if you can get enough people to go. Some places depend on group size, so it is beneficial to be in a group at some places, and not in others. When you have a group of like minded friends, you can usually book a location and split the fee.Be aware that many places still charge PER PERSON and that may or may not be to your benefit. I do not recommend going to a place like Villlisca without experienced people, but there are places that the Ghost Hunt Tour groups go to, where you are in with a group and are guided and taught. Everyone pays the same fee.


Villisca will cost you $200 deposit, and a minimum charge of $420. More people, more cost, and extra $70 or so per person. Waverly is $100 per person if you take a chance and just go in with a group. Want the place to yourself? It is $2000.00 on Friday or Saturday nights. Cheaper during the week. Thomas House is $100 and you will be in a group with others. There are not many places that allow you to just wander about on your own anymore. Too many idiots acting like Zack on a bad day.

There are many little places scattered here and there, and you can find them on line, they are genuinely haunted. They all however, charge a fee!

Ghost hunting isn't inexpensive. Most serious ghost hunters have at least $500 of equpment hiding in their suitcases, trunks, and totes. Even a beginner may have a good $70 voice recorder and a digital camera. The SLR cameras that are best for ghost hunting (in the "normal" camera genre), are at least $400.00 without lenses. This isn't a hobby for people without a few extra bucks in their pocket. It really is useless to go without any of it unless you are trying it out to see how you like it before spending the big bucks.

Finding a haunted place to tour is easy. Getting one for free, next to impossible, getting one open to book, harder and harder to do. Do NOT ever go wandering onto property (even if it is abandoned, someone "owns" it, it may be the county or state) or into cemeteries without permission. NEVER trespass.

People who are local should try Waverly Hills. It is genuinely haunted, not too far away (less than 2 hours), supervised, safe (as in no strangers can wander on to the property), and will cost you only $100, and a night of missed sleep. Try that first. There is no hype, no people who go with you and try to scare you, or act like they have abilities. You are taken to an area, given instruction and let loose for about 45 minutes. Waverly packs a lot into that 45 minutes. You most likely won't be able to get in until next year, but that will be the way with most of the "famous" haunted spots.

Many people are all gung ho about going to haunted sites until they get there. When something "bad" happens, like someone gets scratched, then sometimes that is the end of it.

Also remember one other thing. Haunting doesn't happen just becasue you show up. You may spend your money and your time, and not have an experience. Some people have a low level of fear that will not allow them to perceive things that actually do happen. So be ready to say "nothing happened"...and while the cold winter is passing by, ask for equipment for Christmas and save your money for next year so you can take advantage of some of these trips!

Happy haunting!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

New Moon / Eclipse

Today is a new moon. New moons are excellent times to manifest in whatever way resonates with you, new beginnings. A new moon combined with an exclipse is a nice combination since it wipes out the old and brings to our attention that which is hidden in the darkness. Sometimes we don't know the answer and we have to find it, erase it as much as possible, and then move forward.

The United States will not experience any of the eclipse today. It will be seen in Australia, and move across the water to the southwestern ocean area near South America. The only people who will really get to experience it is the Australians, New Zealanders, Caladonians, a handful of South Americans,and those few hardy souls in Antarctica

But the energy is there, and today would be the perfect day to make changes and create new beginnings in our lives. Think about what you want to begin, and do your prayers, rituals, and manifesting all through the next 24 hours.

This will be a wonderful time to ask for abundance, and remember that "abundance" is not a word that means the same as "money".

Have an awesome new beginning!




Peshaui Wequashimese




(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Win the battle or the war

I know why people have bad relationships.Ego. I instructed a client how to save their marriage. I gave them two easy things to do. Very easy things. They did neither. Now the mess, instead of being smaller is bigger.

Why weren't the two easy steps taken? Because it was more important to them to twist the knife and get revenge than to save the marriage. It was more important to have the last word, to declare their hurt (even though I told them time for that was LATER), than to reach the goal they wanted, that being saving the marriage.

People have a bad habit of winning the battle to lose the war. Letting someone believe you are going to get a divorce when you have no intention of doing so, is CRUEL. The sweet revenge that happened for 5 days will now lose the marriage. It is over, there was a chance to save it, and that chance is gone, just so someone could try to make a point and twist the knife.

The other partner had even planned something nice and the culprit here made them cancel it. That was the death knell. It is over, for what, a few days of smug satisfaction.

You have to decide in times like this, do I want to make a point, or do I want to save the marriage?  Both wasn't an option, and "making a point" became more important, it shouldn't have , but it did.  The point wasn't made and the marriage is going to self destruct.

There are times when you have to step back and wait for the right moment to win the war, not the battle. Battle is about ego. War can be too, but sometimes when there is a difference that needs to be addressed, we have to do it logically and systematically, not emotionally.

Better yet, be around people and situations as much as possible where there is no battle and there is no war. That way you will never have to decide.




Peshaui Wequashimese




(C)Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

My new ghost story

I mentioned the other day that I had a new ghost story. I have had a couple of email asking what it is. I am not positive it is a ghost story, but it is interesting.

We had a Halloween bonfire the other night. There are times when we think we see black shadows out back or other things going on out there. Never anything that we can solidly show, although we have not ever done any kind of investigating. There is a small Civil War cemetery out there and bodies were accidentally dug up when the school was built. It has all the makings for a haunted spot.

When we were having our party, someone heard a woman humming a tune. I didn't hear it, although at the time I was only maybe 8-10 feet away. It seemed to be coming from the field below us, where no one should be, and no one was (it is all open and easy to see right down to the school).

A few minutes later, a female left the party and went to her car on top of the hill about 30 feet away. A short while later I heard a female talking and thought that the lady who left, was maybe up there on her cell phone. I asked another party goer if she was still up there. He said no, so I asked if he heard the voice.He said no, but told me about the humming he had heard minutes earlier. We went up the hill and there was no one there. We looked around a little bit and came back down.

We did have a female neighbor commit suicide across the street during one bonfire a couple of years ago. Maybe she came over to join us! It is one of those stories that we may never know the answer to.

I guess we will have to keep our ears and eyes open the next time we are out having a bonfire!

Enjoy  the day!




Peshaui Wequashimese




(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf, May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Say what you MEAN

Many times during my counseling I see that the real issue is twofold. Part one is communication, and part two is need to be right, or have the upper hand. When combined they are deadly.

The most recent is a client who continually tells her husband things she really doesn't mean at all, sometimes it controls him into a certain action or inaction. This past week it went sideways.

He is always reluctant to agree with her to do anything, because he knows he isn't always told the truth about what she wants or feels. There is always an ulterior motive. The poor man is always in a place of not knowing what is real, or true or not. This past week he didn't want to do something, and it suddenly went to her saying, "fine then we will get a divorce". A divorce is the last thing she wants. She wants him to comply, but she played the biggest card she had, the "D" card. He doesn't want a divorce, but does want an end to all this game playing, harsh words and fighting. He said, "If that is what you want, OK".

She was floored. Now what to do ? How do we backtrack from this? After months of me counseling to make sure there is no more game playing , no more words said that people do not mean, here we have gone to the biggest and most permanent step of all. Now there are pleas for help for me to save it.

The more amazing part of all this is, that another couple did the exact same thing this past weekend.

When you use threats, fear, harsh hurtful words that you do not mean, just to cause a reaction, you are not only causing much unnecessary harm to the relationship, but you may just get what you play for. This is childish, mean, spiteful behavior. It is wrong, it is nonspiritual, and it is not "doing unto others". It is NOT doing the right thing for the right reasons.

Never play games with a person's emotions. When you don't want to be there anymore, say so, then see what the response is. It may be, let's work at it, let's get counseling, let's part temporarily, or let's end it. But make sure that you voice the words you really want to impart.

My husband and I never have a moment when we need to try to tweek each other. I know people live their lives like that, but eventually the powder keg that is the relationship, blows up. It is more of a "when" , then an "if". I have written before on never giving ultimatums that you do not want to hear one of the replies to. You have to be ready to comply. When you say something, you need to honestly mean it, and know that you can carry it out. This goes for any situation from business to friendship to relationship.

Don't play games. In one of the above cases, the best thing is for the man to walk away, he is not being treated well. No matter what he does or says, it is not good enough and games are constantly being played with his emotions. When you torture someone for years then tease them with divorce, they just may grab at it like a lifeline!

Divorce is not a trump card to be played. It is an expensive emotional, mental, and financial journey. Sometimes it is the best solution, but not if you come to it in a fight of one upmanship.

Make sure you clearly say what you mean, and make sure that you know what you mean in the first place. No games, no hurtful words. Be kind to each other. Mention things early. This way you aren't in a position of not having room to make change. When you have been mad at a person and living with them for 10 years, it is hard to fix 10 years of hurt in a week or month.

Know what you want, say what you want. Be fair, be honest. Do unto others, and as I always say....Do the right thing for the right reasons.




Peshaui Wequashimese



(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf, may not be used, copied , or reproduced without prior written permission


Monday, November 5, 2012

Holiday time

Halloween marks the beginning of holiday time in the US, it is 2 months of non stop fun, parties, shopping, decorating, and socializing. It is however a time to reflect. People get caught up in excitement, and even the epitome of non thinking, which is called Election Day. Elections have become too emotional. They shouldn't be, there should be no emotion nor hatred in elections, but there are.

Fortunately election day is almost here, and we can get the ridiculous crap that people try to pass off as "facts" off of the TV. No more political commercials...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That to me , is an early Christmas present.

Some people have started their thankfulness lists. Some are keeping them private and others are sharing them. Remember the main idea here is to learn to be thankful and think positively every day. It is a tool to make your mind see things in a different way. You will become more exacting. Instead of "thanks for my hubby", it can be "thanks for my hubby who was able to have the skills, knowledge and talent to put in my new exhaust fan and light in my new shower". I can see when I shower now! I don't know yet if that is good or bad though.

Then we swing into Christmas. Christmas has become a secular holiday. That is OK. The reason it is OK is that for many it means things like family, peace, being together and putting issues aside for a few days. It means seeing old friends, and laughter. It means helping others. It means the thrill of the hunt, searching for that perfect gift.

It is a good day, no matter what angle you reach it from.

Try not to speed through the holiday season. Try to take the time to be grateful, to be peaceful, to be truly THANKFUL. Those of us who live in the US, live in one of the most wonderful countries in the world. Even though my thankful list is kept private (I already have been doing the every day thing for a while now),today I am thankful for living in such a wonderful country. It isn't perfect, but then none are, it is however one of the best places on earth.

The holidays have all kinds of significance to all kinds of people. Some just look at it as a time when family is back together. They don't go to midnight mass, nor put a creche on their lawn. That does NOT make them bad people. There are some that need to, and want to keep Christmas as a religious holiday. Those who do not, are not bad, nor wrong. The day has morphed over the years, and the truth of the matter is, Christianity didn't invent Christmas. Seriously, they didn't. The roots of Christmas facts are for another day, and probably another month. Make the holiday what works for you, but do not impose your holiday celebrations or way of celebrating on others.

Halloween isn't devil worship, and Thanksgiving isn't a big favorite with Native Americans. People have different ways of celebrating different holidays, and it doesn't make them wrong or right.

Hopefully one thing that you will be able to see one day, is all of a situation, clearly, without emotion, and without being fooled or coerced into thinking the way people want you to think. Seeing things with the soul, by the energy, and with your intuition, is a million times more valuable than your normal five senses that constantly let you down!

Be what you need to be, but in the meantime always do the right thing for the right reasons.



Peshaui Wequashimese





(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf, may not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Giving Thanks Every Day

Last year I made a suggestion in the blog and it was very popular with readers. Each year we wait until Thanksgiving day, and run through a litany of what we are thankful for. It is a good thing to do, but why only one day a year? Why only squeezing those thankful thoughts into a few minutes.

People who find much to be thankful for HAVE much to be thankful for. Even on your worst day you should be able to find at least something to be thankful for. It is the mindset and the positive energy that you pull in around you, that make the day what it is. No matter what life throws your way, you need to be able to find thankfulness in it. It may be as simple as "Thank you Universe for the lesson, it was a hard one to learn, but thank you". Not every day will go perfectly as you planned, after all YOU are not in charge. YOU do not know the answers, or what is best for yourself, nor anyone else most times. You do not know their life plan, their lessons, their deepest fears. You are not anywhere near able to decide what is best because you do not know their life path, only the highest power does. You can give your advice, but when you try to make people do something, then you are slipping off of that path.

But I digress, instead of worrying about others, as in who has more, who seems lucky, who had a better year,etc. Think about what went right, what you learned, , what you have. When you train yourself to that type of thinking you actually DO have more. Sometimes it is even fun to watch the cogs of the Universe work to bring it about.

The suggestion from last year, which is now officially a tradition is this, every day state what you are thankful for. Last year we did it up to Thanksgiving Day, this year, let's go all month. Take a moment each day and make a clear and definite statement. It has to be something different each day, and it can be anything you are thankful for. Start big or small, it doesn't matter. Make a journal of them, or write them on a calendar so at the end of the month you can go back and recite all of them in a prayer or gesture all at once. Don't worry about the order, don't worry about the timing, just whatever pops into your head that day, make it the thankful thing of the day. Even if you feel life isn't that great, you will find things. It may be hard for some people at first, but after a few days it gets easier. You can ask friends and advisers for help in the beginning, this may help some people to refocus, but by the end of the first week, you need to be doing it yourself. It is your brain you are trying to train. 

Keep the thanks positive. Do not thank the Universe for punishing your ex with a crazy new girlfriend, no negativity allowed (ever , at all, of this sort). Make sure the thanks is ONLY for you. No thanks for having someone learn a lesson, that is theirs to thank for. You only need to worry about YOU, no one else.

Doing this is a truly thankful and positive way shows the Universe you are appreciative and brings more positive things to you. Last year some folks posted theirs daily on Faceboook, inspiring others! Get the whole family involved.

The key is to get in a habit that you will continue all year long. The wave of that thankfulness and energy will amaze you if you keep focused on it.

SO what are you thankful for today?




Peshaui Wequashimese



(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permisison