There have been three to four months now where I was thinking of decreasing or ending my time with a group. There were a few things that bothered me from one person making all the decisions and having complete control of club actions, to the group becoming what was "quantity" and not "quality". It wasn't fitting what was comfortable for me, and each trip, each change, was met with an upset, a disaster, or a change that caused an upheaval. Things were changed for the better, then reversed. Things were constantly in flux, all because of personal decisions and issues.
Most recently when helping a client , the local media was called in, which is fine, but it would have been nice if we were all asked first. I didn't mind, but some others did, but they went with the flow to help the homeowner. Club leadership spent more time with the media than the client. I felt so sorry for her. Then, without asking, the leader took the homeowner's Ouiji Board and left with it.They TOLD her they were taking it, but didn't ASK. I had told her what to do with it, and made it safe for her. I wouldn't have bothered closing it off for her, if we were just going to pass it on to a collector, let him do it! I am sure it is in safe hands, but that isn't the point. I felt like I was on an early episode of Haunted Collector.She wasn't asked, and was surprised, as what we had told her 2 days before was now totally different that what was happening.It wasn't my decision, and to me it was the wrong decision.
I planned on pulling way back and just being around for cleansings and blessings. I wanted to limit my time and schedule other things in , and re-vamp what I was doing with the paranormal. I wasn't here for media attention, drama, or upsetting clients. I was here to help. It took so long to decide what to do , as I didn't want to let others down, or feel like I wasn't truly helping. I no longer feel that way for sure!
Anyway, it was a bunch of things, all different things that made me decide to limit my time. Then a trip. A trip that included many of the group, and we all had a great time, or so it seems. We were divided into groups, which was a good thing. Apparently I didn't pay enough attention to an individual (who was in another group), and all of a sudden there were meetings, discussions and phone calls about me.
I will be, and always have been, a person to speak my mind. I tell you , straight up, to your face what I think. I may temper it , and I am always polite about it, but I am flat out honest about it. I approach directly and sincerely. I sometimes take WAY too long and let people walk all over me, which is something I need to change, but I always get there....when I do get there....it is OVER.
This trip included several people who were not from the area, that I rarely see. I spent time talking and laughing with them...about 20 minutes. It was a "hen meeting", a bunch of women laughing. Some came in and joined, others left and went to unpack. A loose , happy, fun gathering. This was hours before the investigation started. We weren't neglecting our duties, but socializing, talking, planning, and talking about traveling to haunted locations out of the area....Well that 20 minutes away from those who run the group was too long.... apparently.
Instead of asking or talking to me about it that night , or even that whole week, it was talk ABOUT me time. I have a problem with that since I am so up front. That had sealed my decision for me. Time to go. I had been nothing but generous, planning trips, giving rides, lending money, paying deposits, holding meetings at my home and more. The thanks I got....being slammed to others while they smiled in my face.
One person said...well "so and so" didn't think you talked to them enough. I am sorry, but last time I looked, friendship works two ways. You see me and I am talking to someone and you want to talk to me, walk your happy butt over and say "hi I want to talk to you". When people hold crap in and gripe about it to others , rather than the person they are upset with, I have NO TIME for those people.I have no time for negative, unhappy souls who spend their lives miserable. I have better things to do.
It wasn't simply being "talked about" it was flat out character assault.It was a barrage that included members, and friends of mine.It all came back to me (I guess no one expected the people who were being "talked to" to notify me). I was being called a liar , and not a true friend, and a plethora of other things. I was shocked, but NOT surprised. This is far from the first time that this type of drama has happened in this group. When I found out the reasons why people were upset, I felt like I was in third grade, not even high school. I quit. Like I said, I pull no punches, I quit loud, hard, and with finality. When I am done, I am done.
I had been talking to some others prior about having a travel group. Those of us with the time, health and money to make multiple long trips around the country going to haunted sites. Rawlins, Wyoming is one place many of us would love to go. This would not be feasible with the group I was in. It wasn't anything official yet and I even remarked to my husband, and a few friends that the trip where all this drama happened , would be my decision making moment.I was leaving or staying, which would it be. I had no idea how right I was. The nonsense and childishness that came out of that trip made me make the decision to go , but also to just have my own investigative group. A group that would vote on everything, help people, and go places and have fun. It would be kept small and NOT include people who were afraid to "ghost hunt", weren't really into it, didn't have emotional or mental issues, never show their face at an event , lived 500 miles away, needed media attention or really couldn't afford to go anywhere. I was tired of dealing with people issues, tempers and drama.
People quickly came to me, others who feel as I do, and they all jumped on board. It started with 7 people and now is a dozen. The group I left went into a day long war. People were ousted if they liked me, were in my group , or defended me. None of which is right, or legal...but that's OK, that is par for the course there and why I no longer am there. I had no problem with people in my group being in the original group, but the original group did. They were told they weren't allowed to be in my group and to ....and I quote...GET OUT NOW.
I don't have time for control freaks, or drama, or people being hateful and nasty to others. I was so glad I was gone.The fact that people thought they could limit me, yet still have me around to do things, AND talk about me behind my back, FLOORS me . I was good enough to keep in teh group and use, but not good enough to be advised of group decisions. I was good enough to have around to use for blessings and cleansings, but not good enough to not be slandered to the group behind my back. Really?
Just limiting me would have fit happily into what I was looking to do. Not a problem, but use me for my abilities and slam me to everyone behind my back...why would I stay? Simple answer...I wasn't supposed to know I was being talked about. I was supposed to quietly stay and be used and abused....no thanks.
I ended up with 12 seasoned investigators so far. Ones with cars, phones, investigative equipment and the ability to pay for trips. I don't think there will be an ounce of drama , or one issue with that group. Thank goodness.
The hate and untruth that was spewed just because I didn't pay enough homage to one person is something that is beyond imagination, but it did what it has done in the past, made a new group form. This isn't the first time, nor I suspect, the last. It isn't even the first this year! There are very good paranormal groups that wouldn't exist if it weren't for the drama pushing them out to form their own groups. There are now four that I know of, that exist just because of the drama of this group.
I do remain here for anyone who needs help. Advice, teachings, blessings, cleansings, and of course investigations. I have a group of dedicated and experienced investigators in two states, and they are all wonderful people who get along and have fun. We hope to add to our group, but are setting the limit at 15.We want quality, not quantity. We are Paranormal Research and Investigations, Ohio Valley.
This is one of my new horizons, this and a new home are currently happening, and a new center for the raptors is also in the works. I have even more ideas and plans, but one step at a time. All good change, all bringing me into better energy and better company. I am sure most of you now know I have quit that paranormal group, but for those that did not, now you do! I will no longer be associated with them in any way. I remain friends with people in the group and will not allow the leadership of that group to tell me who I can be friends with, and who I can do things with. I would hope others also will not.
When you plan your new horizons, the Universe may have bigger and better plans for you. Go with the flow. Let those bigger horizons come. Closing the old doors are hard for some, and situations dictate how hard they need to be closed, or how firmly they need to be locked. Go with the flow.....and let it carry you on to bigger and better things!
(C) 2013 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.