Independence

One of the most important things in life is to be you. Not what someone else wants you to be, or something the group is. You are here to learn YOUR life lessons, and to reach YOUR goals. That doesn't mean that you cannot work with others, or be part of a team. However, what makes you an integral part of a team is that you are YOU. If you had a team where everyone thought the same thoughts, nothing new would even happen. When you have a team where everyone is lazy, nothing at all would ever get done. When you have a team that is all headed down the wrong path, you simply have company for the next life lesson that whacks you all in the back of the head.

Being independent does not mean walking all over others. Walking all over others is not the definition of being independent. Being independent means being able to think for yourself, support yourself, and take care of yourself. It does not mean not caring about what happens to others, that is NOT independence.

A major lesson we are here to learn is that we all have to be able to live and work independently. That does not mean that we need to all live our lives in a bubble separate from everyone else, but it DOES mean having the ability to do so, and to THINK for yourself. When you spend your day following a guru and hanging on his every word, then all you are is an empty shell that is taking up air and water. BE something. Be YOURSELF.

People do things they wouldn't normally do, or even that they know is wrong, just so they won't be alone. From the battered spouse to the one in the group who is always made fun of, there are people who just shuffle along like Zombies. They do things because the group is, and the group tells them it is a cool thing to do. This is a lesson you should have learned in grade school. I remember my Mom saying "If the entire class jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it too?". I wouldn't, but there sure are a lot of others who would!  They drink the Kool Aid, where I would say "no thanks".

I am not a Sheep, and no one in this world should be a sheep. When you can't think a single independent thought, there is a huge problem there. Seriously, medically, psychologically, a huge problem.

People often ask why their lives are a mess. Who makes the mess? God doesn't, Creator doesn't, the Universe doesn't , they do. There are always choices, the choices however are not always easy, and they sometimes require a person to take action on their own.

People confuse loving their fellow man with either having sex with all of them, or smiling at every one of them, and hugging them (then talking about them behind their backs). Many who espouse world peace have nothing good to say about others. They are what we call HYPOCRITES. You will always know where you stand with me, and there are people out there that think that others just adore them, but they don't. Just because people don't say things like "I don't think you should have said that", doesn't mean they actually like you. They just smile and drift along being part of the herd. This is not a popularity contest.

We are not herd animals, we are social animals. There is a big difference. The herd does not think independently, social animals come up with ideas and solutions. Are you a herd animal or a thinking human? When you can be independent, then you never have to worry about being abused; being in a clique you are afraid to leave; needing to be with someone you really do not love because you are afraid you can't pay the bills; stuck in a rut; doing things you wouldn't normally do; living in fear. We cannot be a member of the world without being independent. Otherwise we are easily influenced by others, and no one ever has a new idea.

When you can't start your day without guidance from another person, you need to break off ties with that person, and get your brain and soul back. When you can't speak up and disagree with a group for fear of reprisals, then you need to leave that group. When you find yourself always espousing words, like "world peace" without actively DOING something about it, you need to WAKE UP. When you cannot explain what it means to another person, you are just mouthing the words.

People in the spiritual world mistakenly think that it is OK to pray, drum, meditate, or do energy work on a situation, which it is...but that is ALL THEY DO. They never get off their butts and actually HELP, they never actually DO SOMETHING. It is NOT good enough. THINK about what you can do to actually make a difference, and don't do something just because the group is. Just showing up doesn't count either. Doing something that actually makes a difference, is.

I know of two groups that think they are helping, when all they are doing is having a social group that feels good about themselves while they don't actually do anything productive. Neither is making an iota of difference, although they tell themselves they are, and most time is spent doing things they want to do, like gathering together, rather than spending most of their time actually HELPING. When you are a group that is "service" oriented for helping others, most of your time should not be gathering together to do things that are not actively helping. MOST of the groups time should be spent actually HELPING.

Meetings, gatherings, and such can be fun, but they don't make a difference. Spend that time being productive.

It is both funny and sad, and it is a shame people need that "group" to feel OK with themselves. When you cannot feel OK alone, you have a problem. When you cannot take your life and your company, who else can? Make yourself the ultimate that you can be, and be independent so you never get fooled, abused, or misdirected. Be independent so you don't have to live this life over again. Be independent so that you never will live in fear. You will not suffer from influential people who do not have your well being in mind.

Being independent is a HUGE life lesson, it is one of the most important that gets taught over and over if you don't learn it. The other is patience. Being independent does NOT mean that you won't help the world or better yet, a neighbor. It means that you will do it out of REAL love and by using YOUR knowledge and skills to make it happen. You will act out of TRUE love and compassion, not out of a need to be part of a group. You will not have to go someplace and do something you really don't want to because the group is. You won't have to worry about being ostracized from the group. You will not get stuck with another person's agenda. You will be YOU and grow, and REALLY help people in a REAL way. You will learn what works and what doesn't, right before your eyes, not by what someone tells you is working.

People confuse the word independent with not caring about the Universe. Not true at all, they have no true grasp of the word. Independent people are the ones that make the most happen in the world. They aren't loners. They are fearless thinkers who see opportunity that others fear to take. They aren't cold or unkind, they are just able to do things , and THINK on their own, that doesn't mean they shun the world. 

Groups are necessary to make things happen at times. Sometimes many hands are needed, but also many minds. Many minds with many ideas....not sheep. Have you ever seen a herd of sheep accomplish anything great ? Of course not. Don't be a sheep, be a thinking human.

Independent people make huge changes and do it quietly. They aren't there for recognition. Some make amazing strides, and independent thinkers like Einstein , Edison and Gates have changed our world. Their work was done quietly, but the amazing results resounded around the world.

Don't let people tell you being independent is being nonspiritual, it is actually one of the most important lessons of life in truly being spiritual !

Pesahui Wequashimese



(C)2011 Dr. R M Reiter Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.