Making wise decisions is easy.

Finding the wise answer is easy, carrying it out is where people get crossed up. When there is an easy road and a hard road, the hard one is usually best. The Universe didn't put you here to have a blast. This isn't a party. The Universe also did not put you here to suffer, but WILL certainly make you learn from your mistakes.

I was emailed a question as to how to make wise decisions. This person had just quit their job to be closer to a  lover. Then out of the blue (as in the Universe sending a strong message), they lost their apartment for reasons that had nothing to do with them, but with the landlord. Now jobless, and ready to be homeless...this person reached out to their so called lover, only to be told, "Sorry to hear that", and the call ended.

First of all, unless you already have a new job lined up, you NEVER QUIT YOUR JOB! That is pretty basic. It is right up there with don't play in traffic at rush hour.

 Rule number two is that if you have to change your lifestyle, and make a major move for another person who has not earned your trust and is also making moves, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Rule number three is ALWAYS have a back up plan.

...and one more thing, I highly caution people against finding people in other countries for partners. There is logistically so much in the way. I have had people leave their homes to be then shut out by the lover and be in a strange place with nothing. I have had people bring others to this country just to find out they were used for citizenship.  There is also an alarming number of people getting married, then taking their children that they do not have custody of, to another country where the custodial parent cannot reach them or get them back. Having a person come to this country and find a job is very difficult, so unless you plan to support them for the next few years, don't do it. The logistics of these romances gives them a HUGE failure rate. Steer clear!

Getting back to the original querant, this person is weeks from being homeless, and IS jobless, and now doesn't have a partner. The truth is the "partner" never really existed in the first place. They had been "talking" for over a year and the last talk was about maybe forming the friendship into a relationship. This is a person who didn't call but maybe once a week, and never visited. This is NOT the type of person that you quit your job for!

Making wise decisions is important. Too often today , people are looking for fast and easy answers to everything and wanting to blame the disastrous results on someone, anyone else. It isn't just in the "love" area, it is almost equal between love and money.

One makes the excuse that today's economy has them in dire straits. They can't get business (but when I tell them how to, they obtain a new client in one day). It is so easy to sit on one's butt and complain about the economy when the problem has been years of laziness, overspending, and a disregard for money issues. This one particular person does owe, and yes, this is a real number, over half a million to the IRS. Obama hasn't been around for more than a couple of years, so how he got this person to owe half a million in taxes is beyond me. He blames Obama, but it is obvious he was in trouble long before Obama showed up on the scene. He isn't the only one. It takes YEARS to dig that hole, and YEARS to climb out.

When you are having money issues, the answer is to get a job, not just a high paying job if they aren't out there , but a JOB. While you are doing that, don't spend like you always did, which was most likely above your means.Then , if things are still bad, get ANOTHER JOB, you don't have the money to be out spending and having a good old time anyways. Don't say jobs don't exist, they do, and most of my clients get one within three months.

As far as the economy excuse.BULLCRAP.  I did better last year than the year before, and this year is on track to be better than last year. We still go on two vacations a year, the bills are paid, and we always can do/obtain what we need, and usually what we want to. We work hard, and we play hard. We pay our taxes too (even though I want to cry every quarter when I write out my check). We aren't LUCKY, we are hard working, responsible, reasonable people who make sure that things are done in a practical way. We still are able to have and do things that we want....we aren't sitting unhappily in the dark wishing we could afford a movie ticket. We have both been there, and both because of other people's actions, and we are NOT going back there. I work 7 days a week, my husband works a full time and a part time/part year job. We know we want to be able to do certain things, so we make sure we earn the money to do them. We still have a lot of quality time together and with friends. We host parties and we attend them. We never skip paying a bill to host a party though, although many people do just that.

When there are people around you who are a danger to your health, whether it is financial , medical, or mental/emotional. LEAVE!

Make decisions based on what will happen in the long run, not on what shiny thing you want right now. This country got into a bad spiral of overspending. People were given mortgages who had no business having them; car loans that had no business having them....and it was so rampant it took us to our knees. Now the banks and loan companies are going back to the stricter guidelines that existed years ago. It isn't that it is harder to get a loan, it is just that we are back to normal, and all the people who ruined their credit will find it next to impossible to get a mortgage or loan, not because of Obama, or even the banks, but because of themselves. People were living WAY above their means, and now it is time to pay the piper. The people who had been living over their means, declaring bankruptcy, defaulting on loans and not paying millions in taxes, are the people we should all be angry at (and the institutions that allowed it).


So how do you make your decisions? Are they made with an eye to the future or just until tomorrow? Do you make decisions based on the moves of another person who is a dedicated partner or one who really doesn't even give you the time of day? Do you live within your means or above it?

Sit down and make careful plans, talk to a friend who is successful. Talk to the person who is doing well financially when you want to know if you are making a wise financial move. Talk to the person with a wonderful relationship when you are making relationship decisions. When you ask your friend if you should quit your job and they say "WHAT!?!?!?" , then you know the answer is NO! Many won't ask because they don't want to hear the answer. Others will have trouble finding friends that are stable or finding friends at all. There are ALWAYS options, you may not like them, but they are always there.

Use common sense (which is very uncommon these days unfortunately).
Those who know how, use muscle testing, those who don't, learn how to do it.

  When I am asked to help people who are screaming about the state of the world today , I look at their past actions and current actions. Ninety nine percent of the time, the answer to the problem is THEMSELVES.

Be knowledgeable, strong, smart, and independent. Then you never have to worry about being knocked down by the Universe to a point where you cannot see a way out, and for goodness sake, stop complaining about things that happened to you EONS ago, your situation today is where you put yourself today. There are reasons (valid), and excuses (not valid). Don't make excuses for the actions of your parents, or even further back than that, to excuse your mess today. Don't blame the government (when I was a kid the thing to do was blame society), your boss, the bank, the car re-possessor.  Unless you are not of age, you have no reasons, and just a head full of excuses that get you nowhere.

Be your own best supporter, not your own worst enemy !



Peshaui Wequashimese



(C)2011 Dr. R M Reiter Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.