The perceptions and thought processes are even different. So we went back and forth most of the day about things and our drum. She is so happy about the drum, and sits on one herself. I was telling her of my reluctance to have more women on the drum, as in this part of the world, it is looked down on by many. Some call it sexist, I don't , I call it tradition. Even though I am a female, I won't tell anyone they should have females on their drum (or take part in any ceremony). It is their tradition and their way. You have to follow YOUR tradition. My sticking point is that my people did things differently than the the locals. Oh well. That doesn't mean I am going to take my tribe and forget all about them, my grandmother's teachings and their ways, but it also means I need to respect the traditions of others...a tight spot.
My friend said, "tell them about Weetamoo and Pocasset" ! (back to them in a moment).
That is all well and good, and I can do that, but the local ways are still the local ways and while I am swimming around on their piece of Turtle island I still have to respect their ways.Now, that doesn't mean becoming a local, but acting respectfully to the locals.The funny part is that there really wasn't any modern day tribe locally. The closest were the Shawnee, and Cherokee. That is part of the tradition here, along with a tribe who never set foot in this part of the world (for whatever crazy reason).
That means not adding other females to the drum, and of course then that makes others unhappy (especially females, as now I am a trader and a hypocrite), but, on the other hand it makes the men who are the authority in the area happy, and makes people take us more seriously. So, living by the old adage, you can't make everyone happy, so make yourself happy....that is what I will do. Be in the middle somewhere. Compromise. I have already said that if there is a ceremony then I will not participate, but pow wows are for gatherings of all people, I know, after all, the word is Narragansett, my ancestors' word. It really meant "medicine man", but to read that whole story, search back a few blogs.
Meanwhile, for all the men out there.....Weetamoo was a sachem, sort of "Vice chief" for lack of a better word, of the Wampanoag. Pocasset was a female warrior who fought the English. They didn't just clean the hides......they were smart, tough, brave, and respected.
In my tribe the females drummed, they did everything, apparently up to leading the tribe and war parties. So their lead is the one I will follow, while being as respectful to the locals as possible. You still only see maybe one female drummer on a drum back east. You won't see several. I guess they are keeping the same mind set, or maybe the women just don't want to drum.
My friend asked me if I thought women in general should be on a drum, forget tradition, and the stories, what did the "modern me" think. The answer isn't simply yes or no, the answer is the same I would have for a man. Are they respectful, knowledgeable, friendly, and can they learn the songs and keep a beat? Do they have their act together? Are they dedicated and focused? Then yes. However, women also (and I hate to say this about my gender , but it is true), tend to cause the most issues around the drum, and have times when they cannot drum (when they are on their moon). So you cannot depend on them, unless you throw out the "moon thing", which I am not going to do. The reason for that, it that at pow wows, (and I didn't know this until recently), it is a major issue to have women on their moon even under the arbor, or in the dance ring, etc. Therefore if I made a decision to allow women near the drum under the arbor, I would be taking them into an area that they do not belong in at all during that time, and that is unfair to everyone else there and to the other women who live very strictly by that rule. That means I am causing the other drums, artifacts, regalia, under the arbor to become drained of spiritual energy. It may not sound nice, but that is the belief. I am not going to do that to another person's sacred things.
That said, there are some strong females out there, but they are already sitting on drums, mostly female drums. Maybe the men are intimidated by them....who knows, but they are out there, singing and drumming away! Kudos to them!
I remain dedicated to honoring my tribe, and my ancestors.I also stay true to my beliefs, and my dedication. I expect no more of others, but I also expect no less. Some of us are OK with being outside the loop, others crave to be in it. It all depends on who you are. We were told by many that this wouldn't be easy, from elders, to pow wow officials. We were told there will always be someone with something to say, and someone throwing a fit about their tradition or their rights. We were told to start out strong and strict as it is impossible "to get the horse back in the barn". The key was to remain strong, and to ask questions of those with true knowledge. So that is what we have done and will continue to do...but the fact remains that at least on the east coast, the women didn't just clean the hides.
Follow your tradition, not another person's.
Be respectful while you are doing that.
Know what you are doing, and know it well.
...and like Teddy Roosevelt said, "walk softly , but carry a big stick". Peshaui Wequashimese
(C)2011 Dr. R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.
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