Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Holidays can be depressing for some

I usually receive email on metaphysical questions, but the latest was asking about my training in psychology. A woman is very concerned about a friend of many years as her behavior had changed after two deaths in the family.

There is some concern as the family members died from a congenital disease, so it would be normal to have some concern and have things checked out. The friend sent me a list of behavior she was concerned about,  and should be, since the holiday season is a time for heightened depression and suicide. Don't confuse a normal sadness with depression, they are two different things, mostly due to severity and duration.

People think that most suicides occur in the winter months, generally around the holidays. It is a time of heightened suicide rates, but the peek times are late spring and early summer. It is important however to make sure that we are aware of signs of depression in people around us.

Suicide is preventable. Depression is manageable. Signs of depression include:


When people "drop out" of life. They don't do things they used to love doing. They don't participate in group activities. This can mean not showing up , or being there and being totally unplugged. Not participating in the conversation, or physically withdrawing. Doin gthis at home is even more serious, and is a sure sign that something is wrong.

Shut out loved ones. Family, friends, partners are avoided and closed out. They may literally hide from them, or absorb themselves in other things so as not to become involved emotionally.

Saying and doing things that tell you they feel there is no hope. Hopelessness is a major part of depression and is one of the differences between being sad and being depressed. Saying things like "I will never be happy again", "or life is hard, it always is, I will always have problems".

Lack of concern with appearance of themselves and their surroundings. They don't have to be a Fashionista or  Martha Stewart to be healthy, but if a person is no longer paying attention to hygiene, or has gone from looking nice to wearing sweats and a bathrobe all the time, be concerned. It is the change in a downward or less concerned way, that you are looking for.
When a normally clean home goes to being totally unkempt, that is a cause for concern.

This also includes a loss of appetite, or desire to do the basic things we normally do to survive. 

They find things to absorb them so they don't "have time" to do things they normally did or to be plugged in to the world. Some people become workaholics, others suddenly develop what seems like an addiction to a hobby, pass time or endeavor. It consumes them and their time, and allows them to "check out" of daily, family and/or  work life.

They dwell on the past or a particular event in their life that was devastating to them. A divorce, death, loss of job. They still mourn the loss of something. People do heal at different rates, but after a year has passed, and the person is still mourning, there is an issue. Most people heal in a matter of a few months.

Endangering other aspects of life. Some who are depressed will do things that put them at risk, and make them cause issues to give them something to be depressed about. You will see this in Borderline Personality Disorder. The most common ways of doing this is spending money to get in to a huge financial hole that is next to impossible to climb out of. Others put themselves in physical danger, that can vary from them not eating well, or taking their medications to have unprotected sex with dangerous or ill people. They may take up dangerous hobbies, or sports that put them at risk. They put themselves at risk in any way imaginable.

Body pain. Clinical depression many times comes with body aches and pain. Not always, but some cases do involve physical pain.

Causing minor harm to themselves. They may start by cutting themselves , the physical pain takes their mind off of the emotional pain for a short period of time. They may also "accidentally overdose" on regular medication, or increase in drinking or drug use.

Trouble sleeping at night. Excessive sleeping to escape during the day.

Difficulty concentrating.

Any of these things should be a cause for concern, and prompt a visit to your doctor. There is not an immediate need to visit a psychologist or psychiatrist, but it is imperative to seek help. When these signs are severe, or all of them show up, it is time for a visit to a psychiatrist. Not only is there danger of a suicide, but people are not living their lives, and are cheating themselves and their loved ones out of their attention, love and creation of happy memories.The key is to watch for change, duration and intensity. Help your loved ones by protecting them. They may not like being dragged to the doctor's office, but when their lives are happier they will not be able to thank you enough.




Peshaui Wequashimese




(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.








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