Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Communication

I remember, just the other day in fact, advising a caller that the key to any relationship is communication. A simple "I will be right back I am running to the store" to a complicated "I am feeling that you are rushing me in this relationship" helps every time. Even when the conversation is difficult. The clarity itself, although it may be something you don't WANT to hear, will keep you from wasting time, energy, and emotion.

I am totally honest with people. I try to find a nice way of saying things, but I say them. I try to use humor, or make examples. I do NOT tolerate BS, lies, or the spreading of untrue information (and would hope most people do not either). I speak up, I state why and then back off. Life isn't a debate, and although sometimes we get entangled in them, they aren't the goal.

Communication, like anything, is a balance. It is also a great way of cleaning up a lot of misinformation and doubt. It works wonders.

Lately I have seen an example or two (or three...) of people clamming up, and then wondering why the world hasn't assumed what they wanted, or how they felt. They then get upset and stomp, or slink away, depending on the person. I have seen it directed at others and at me. It is another example of the ME ME ME attitude that people have.

It isn't difficult to say to friends, "Hey can we do this", or "let's try that". It isn't hard to say "no I am sorry I can't be there" or "I will help next time". Just make sure you are being honest. Don't say things just to hurt, or to get attention. Don't fish for compliments or try to start fights. Just flat out state what is on your mind, but remember it is all in HOW you say it....but SAY IT.

The past few days were an eye opener for me. I saw a couple of people in a light I had been trying to ignore for a while. I always give people the benefit of the doubt. They will usually redeem themselves or prove you 100% correct. I was proven 100% correct. So now I move forward without a bump in the path. They were already weeding themselves out and now the weeds are pulled. Why? Lies. I cannot tolerate anyone who lies to me. There is no reason for it. When your behavior is so bad that you know you need to lie about it, then  you need to change your behavior.

Weed, weed, weed...and the garden is healthier. The good plants have more air, water and attention to thrive.

Communicate, and do it as well as you can, but it is a skill that everyone needs to develop, and fine tune.



Peshaui Wequashimese




(C)2013 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission

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