ASSUME.....well you know how that goes

Yesterday was a day that was full of people assuming things and making their life worse for it.

There are so many times when a small issue can be quickly cleared up, but instead is made into Mount Everest. The way to keep this from happening? Simple, ask a question.

How many situation comedies are based on someone seeing , hearing or experiencing something that they get the wrong idea about?You as the audience know, as you are privy to the actions the "assumer" didn't get to see, and you laugh your way through the show watching them make a fool out of themselves.

How many times in real life have you been that fool?

This life is school. We are here to learn to show our achievements (or failures so we can be taught again). We are here to communicate with , teach and learn from others.  Instead of assuming the worse about people, assume nothing.

Here are two examples from the past 48 hours.

A woman sees on her boyfriend's phone a text to a female saying "You are beautiful". She had not time to read others....just that one. I looked and found it to be to a family member. I can think of other scenarios where someone may text this and it doesn't mean that he is having sex with her. I told my secretary this once when she helped solve a huge problem for me....so does that make me a lesbian? People let their minds go to places of their own insecurity. This lady I am talking about went totally insecure and almost messed up a great thing..

First of all , remember Shakespeare's words. "Peek not through the keyhole lest you be vexed".(King Lear)

In other words, when you are nosy, you may find something you don't like, and it may be about you. You may find something that you totally do not understand and worry about that is totally nothing at all. We find what we look for. When we look for negative in the world, we find it. When we look for positive in the same world, we find it. Train yourself to look for positive.



Getting back to the lady with the phone...her boyfriend was texting his 10 year old daughter who was being picked on in school. She met his daughter, and lo and behold, it was her name on the text.....




The next issue was a person who had made a mistake in life, she felt very guilty about it and was having trouble reconciling the event. During an argument with her boyfriend, he said to her that another male friend (who the boyfriend was jealous of), had told everyone of her mistake she made in life. It worked, she shut that man out of her life.


The problem, the man friend never said it, never told anyone, he was a friend of hers when this event happened, and the boyfriend wasn't even around yet. She found out when the boyfriend confessed to her after the old friend was cut out a few weeks. Her "wonderful" boyfriend was gloating over how vulnerable she was, he was "showing her" that she needed him becasue she couldn't make sound decisions on her own. Apparently her "picking boyfriend abilities" aren't that sharp. I told her to ditch him....she did. She and the old friend are friends again.

I have said it in many blogs. When you have an issue with someone talk to THEM about it. You can get other people's opinions, but ALWAYS make sure that you talk to the person who you think wronged you.You may find out that you are assuming.....the wrong thing.When they won't talk to you, that is OK, it's their funeral.

Someone asked me last night what I would do if a person I knew , assumed something untrue about me. I said...Let them go. I have done it and will do it again. I have done it recently.

When a person who is close to you in some manner, assumes something bad or negative about you and doesn't bother to stop a moment and ask you about it, then good riddance. I don't need people like that in my life. I have better things to do and better people to associate with. I have done it a few times now, in my life. I would do it again. I have no problem weeding my garden.

Make sure you always ASK, not ASSUME. It will keep you from stressing over things, it will help you make the right decision, and it will keep you from looking like a total fool.

Don't be the star of your own situational comedy!

Do unto others...
and
Do the right things for the right reasons.



Peshaui Wequashimese



(C)2014 Dr R M Wolf, may not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.