Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Hiding in plain sight

A reader asked me to put on my psychologist hat today. I said I would give it a try, although I haven't kept up on recent work in the field. The question however, was easy.

They made a comment yesterday about a person they know. They see this person from time to time in groups, and this person is always very nice to others around them. The reader however, knows much about this person, their home life, and things they have done, and is astonished at how the act is played out for others. They asked if there are many like that out there. Chameleons who people think are wonderful, sweet people, and who are in fact very troubled.

The answer is ABSOLUTELY! The joke in this country is that after hearing of a person committing a horrible crime, someone says "but he was always such a nice boy". Think of John Wayne Gacy. Gacy was a serial killer, but before anyone knew him as such, he was a person who was considered an upstanding member of the community. A businessman who attended the Catholic church in town; a man who helped down and out people find construction jobs; he ran the local Jaycees; was active in politics, and the icing on the cake, dressed up as a clown. He entertained as Pogo the clown and organized street parties and gatherings for children. Nice guy, right? He even had his picture taken with then First Lady, Roslyn Carter.

John Wayne Gacy was the man in your neighborhood that everyone liked and knew. He did good things, and he seemed like a really sweet guy, except what he really was, was a serial killer. Gacy killed at least 33 people. He violently raped most of them first, and most were young boys.

There are many people in this world with emotional and mental issues. There are more today than ever before. Those with emotional issues are really harder to deal with as there is not a miracle drug to make them better. Most were the victims of abuse when young. The anger and resentment still flows out of them now that they have control over their lives.

They usually put on a good front, but have an unhappy spouse or other family member who usually is the recipient of their anger. The anger doesn't come out in public as they need everyone to like them. They have a bizillion Facebook and Myspace "friends" that they never met, and they seek attention, either through generous acts, or constant trips to the doctor. They are the ones that always pop up at everything, or have someone send a message that they couldn't come, due to some health issue or problem at home. This makes you feel sorry for them,they get your attention even without being there. They cheat on their spouses, spend and need more money than most, they even may commit crimes such as theft.

Some even skip the work and show up for the party afterward. They will say they were at "such and such event" doing good deeds, but what they were really attending is the "after party". They try not to hold a job, and will have a million reasons why, mostly things like health issues that are non existent or exaggerated beyond imagination. They put on a great act, yet actually do very little in the way of making a positive difference.

When they find someone who is truly strong of spirit, they instantly hate that person, they are what the emotional mess has always wanted to be.

Whatever they want, they do and take. They are always seeking attention, and they will do good or bad to get it, although when in the spotlight with others looking on, they are the most sweet, huggy people you ever met.

Take them out of the limelight, and they are pure anger, and evil, vindictive acts.Many have trouble believing it, just as they had trouble believing Gacy was a serial killer.

They are out there, all over the place. People who get close enough begin to see it, people who do not, think they are angels on earth, like Gacy.

When you sense something isn't quite right, or that a person is directing hate or vengeance toward another, walk away, no matter how sweet they seem in public. People are so concerned with life being a "popularity" contest, they are "friends" with all kinds of people that are unhealthy and unhealthy for them. What is important is to keep good energy around you. People who do he right things for the right reasons, not those who put on a spiritual act for the public.

Thankfully there are not a lot of Gacy's walking around out there, but there are way too many people with emotional issues out there. Male and female.

This reader had just found out that a person who holds themselves up as a spiritual leader in the community, is dating a married person. The reader was shocked, and asked how that could be OK with everyone. Usually everyone doesn't know...and the rest overlook it , as the person is such an angel, right???

Make sure that you know who is in your life...just becasue they are wearing a clown suit and raising money for a worthy cause, doesn't make them a good person.

Do the right things for the right reasons.




Peshaui Wequashimese






(C)Dr R M Reiter Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.

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