Ultimatums

Ultimatums are meant to be carried out. They are not a tool that should ever be used, as they are bad enough as they are, but when people use them as weapons without ever meaning to carry out the threat, that is beyond evil. When you simply speak them and do not carry them out, they are at the very least "game playing", but to me, they are pure manipulation. They are cruel posturing that is childish and results in only ill will at the very least.

I have several clients who thought it was somehow a good idea to tell the person they were involved with, to "never speak to them again", or some similar threat. The most serious "if you show up here, I will do this..." resulted in an arrest.None of them got their way, as a matter of fact, they all got dumped.

You CANNOT threaten a person with bodily harm or harm to their property, no matter how much you don't like them. It is illegal.

Giving someone an ultimatum if you truly mean it, is up to you, but you must be ready to suffer the consequences. In every example yesterday the person who was given the ultimatum did what they wanted to do, and were fine with the "never speak to me again" part.  Now the people who gave the ultimatums want to know when they will be contacted by the people they told to "never speak to me again". Really? Seriously? Guess what! The ultimatum worked!

I don't know what planet everyone is living on where they think it is OK to control others through threats, innuendo and ultimatums. It isn't OK.People tend to run off at the mouth way more than is good for them. When you walk around spouting garbage and hate, it comes back to you in the end. ALWAYS.  If anyone ever tries that with me they are going to find themselves on a very sorry end of their words.

You can't threaten a person , ever, and you certainly can't threaten and then want to take it all back because the threat did not work to control the person. You aren't here to control anyone but yourself. Period.

Game playing in relationships never works. People either realize it right away and refuse to be manipulated; find out later and hate you; you have to play the game all your life to keep things from going sideways. It never has a happy ending. Never.

Some people will tell you to play "hard to get", that only works with certain relationships and personalities. When your partner is slow moving forward as they have been hurt, cheated on, and abused, "playing hard to get" will just get you left behind as you make them feel unsure and insecure.

Make it easy on yourself and others. Don't play games.

Outside of the relationship arena....don't threaten, don't try to impose your will on others, don't hate, don't put yourself above others, and don't give ultimatums! When someone gives you an ultimatum, tell them to have a nice life.

Do unto others......



Do the right things for the RIGHT REASONS!


Peshaui Wequashimese


(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.