Not always what you say.....

When we go through life, we can make it easy or hard. Hard is OK, if you choose it to be that way, but then don't complain about how hard it is. One of the things that you hear often, is that it is not what you say, but how you say it. True.

There are times in life when we need to change things, direct people, even report issues to a higher authority. That in and of itself can be uncomfortable. It can range from teaching your children, to dealing with difficult co-workers. Recently a client had a problem come up. Certain employees were making a mistake that was causing a big problem. It had to be corrected, and quickly. This happens all the time in the world of work. She went to them , told them what they were doing incorrectly,which is fine, but then caused things to go sideways. She told them that when blame came down for this she was going to make sure that management knew they screwed up big time.

The employees fixed the issue, but then the proverbial stuff hit the fan. Meetings, discussions, reprimands, more meetings. Why? Because of the way it was handled. This won't end here. Employee memories are long when someone comes down hard on them. This woman will always be the enemy. Less cooperation, help, and friendliness will come her way.

This went from a situation that would be an ordinary workplace snafu, to war. Just because a few words were uttered that did not need to be said.

We can correct people without threatening their jobs, calling them idiots, or making them feel two inches tall.

We can correct situations without pointing fingers. It was actually a directive in one place I worked. You could explain the event and where it went sideways, but not name names. Sometimes it was apparent, and of course if you are the screw tightener and the screws are never tight, someone would talk to you....but it kept that ruthlessness out of the workplace. More problems were solved , more quickly, and without fallout over the next several months.

People respond to "let me show you how we need to do this from now on" better than "You are an idiot and better do it my way or else".

Most people don't want to make a mistake,  and are grateful for information. Some people DO need a big knock on the head to get the message, but make sure that you are the person who should do it. DO NOT go over board to the opposite side. Don't be all Bliss Ninny because someone will get their feelings hurt, when they don't care about what a mess they are making. Speak up! The "Fix It Fairy" won't come and tap them with her magic wand. Bliss Ninnies sometimes say that Karma and God will take care of them. Really? With what, a lightening bolt? Karma and God work through people. We are responsible for dealing with issues, not hiding from them.

So ...say something, be clear, and be as nice as you can....That will depend on the situation of course. When you see a person being mugged , don't say...Excuse me sir, could you please unhand that fine woman?

People think being spiritual is being all nice all the time, it isn't. It means listening to spirit. We are not told by spirit to give in to bad things. We are not told by spirit to allow bad things to continue to happen. We are not told by spirit to hug a wife beater or child molester.

Take care of issues, but in a responsible manner that does not include ulterior motives!

Be strong, and do the right things for the right reasons.....




Peshaui Wequashimese




(C)2012 Dr R M Wold, May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.