Try giving positive responses......

This is a complaint I hear often, people are ready to criticize but rarely ready to praise.

Unfortunately it is very true. When I was in the "workaday" world, I made sure that I praised my employees. When they did well, they knew it. Even when they gave it their all, and missed the mark, they got kudos for trying. My employees loved me.

Many times bosses, family and even friends forget to say good things. Everyone however is eager to jump in and let you know when you messed up.

I will let you know either way. Yesterday I had a client hear something she didn't want to. She had talked to me seven times. She acted like she had never spoken to me before. On those seven prior occasions, she couldn't find a moment in her busy life to leave positive feedback, but on the one day she didn't like the message, she was quick to leave a slam on my feedback page.I called her out on it.

I wrote her a note about it (I really DO walk my talk), and told her that she HAD spoken to me before, and that on all those occasions she didn't find the moment to be nice, but when she was having a bad day, SLAM (I also have to mention I am not the only person she has slammed, so it wasn't just a bad day for her). I told her that costs us a fortune in business when people do that, and if she is going top be so ready to slam, be so ready to be nice. I told her to not call me again, wished her well, blocked her, and moved on. ( I usually tell people why I am blocking them instead of leaving them hanging).

At the end of the day I get a second slam on one of those older calls. TALK ABOUT SOMEONE NOT GETTING IT. She wrote a rambling diatribe that seriously makes no sense. Probably feeling angry, from guilt, and again doing exactly what she had that morning. It was a diatribe of striking out negatively,  lying in her feedback, and carrying on like crazy. It is pages back in my feedback and looks like a rant of an angry person, which is just what it is, so I am really not concerned, but I am concerned that this person will go through life not praising, but when her feelings are hurt, overreacting and treating people like garbage. Lying, negative retribution and anger fueled revenge are the perfect recipe for KARMA.

I would think I shouldn't have to remind people not to act in such a hateful , vengeful manner. I think we were all taught that in Kindergarten, but PLEASE, because there are people like this is the world, and we all have days when we are trying hard and tired, and not feeling well...PRAISE people. Even if it is just a "I love that shirt on you!" Praise is what everyone needs. We are social animals and need to know we are doing OK.

I have shied away from adults that I know who have hateful crap come out of their mouths. When they put down any group from gays, to a culture, to a religion, I will have nothing to do with them. You can't teach them, but you can teach and encourage younger people.

Interact with people, talk to people, and learn that no matter what, the Big K is always hiding just around the corner.

Praise before degrading.



Peshaui Wequashimese





(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission