The overly sensitive

Last night I looked over the day of issues people were having that contacted me for help. Most of those were relationship issues. When you talk to some people you instantly understand why they have trouble forming and keeping friendships and relationships. In just a few minutes you don't want to put up with them a second longer, and wonder how the last relationship partner actually made it for a month.

Yesterday was a day of people being defensive.When people are defensive for no reason, it makes me want to jump all over them, but then I just give them a reason to be defensive. Usually that is a result of insecurity and you won't make an insecure person feel better by telling them they are being rude.There were a few times yesterday when I commented to various people about things in life, or things that happened to another person and BAM the immediate response was defensive, abrupt and rude. I thought "who pissed in your cornflakes"?

So what to do?

People sometimes have a bad day and you just let it go, but when people have bad lives, you separate that person from your inner circle, and if need be, your life. Some people can be so rude as to be abusive, and those you cut out entirely. Never allow an abusive person into your life.

I never say something to someone just to tweek them, I did when I was younger, and I hate to say it, but I will make you curl up in a fetal position and cry if I want to, but I don't. I know better. I have better manners for one thing. The things I say to the TV, aren't things I say out loud to people, but a lot of those things would be great lines in a movie, but not in life.

When you literally have no filters, when you are constantly defensive, when you don't have any friends, then it is time for a huge change. There are so many people in this world who talk to people like they are trash, and then think because they then did something nice to make up for it the next day , it makes it OK. It does NOT. What makes it OK is working toward not ever doing it again in the first place. People aren't here to be "bought" into being a punching bag. I don't want to even hear "I can't help it" because unless you are psychotic, you CAN help it.

Joyce Landorf Heatherley wrote a book, and it became a mantra for people working on themselves and relationships. It is called "Balcony People" and it was written about a poem that has an unknown author. Not everyone in life deserves a front row seat in your life, some need to be up in the balcony where they won't effect you as much, and where they won't get to share in your limelight. When I first heard of it, I said to my friends," I know a few people that I am putting in my basement" (yeah sometimes I do say that stuff out loud). I am also really good at locking people out entirely. Some people just do not deserve to sit in our audience. When they are abusive, then lock them out of the theater! When they are constantly rude , in a bad mood, and defensive, then put them in the balcony. It isn't being a bad person, it is respecting yourself, and until you respect yourself, you cannot really respect others.

I even lock some clients out of my life, I fire them. Many of the people I talk to have serious issues, some don't care, don't really want help. When all they do is ask when their (fill in the blank) will "get theirs", I no longer talk to them. When all they do is rant and rave about how everyone in their life is a (fill in expletive here), I don't talk to them anymore. We cannot help people who like being angry and mad at the world. We cannot help people who love being miserable, even though they may say they do not. We cannot help people who do not want help.

When someone makes you cringe every time they call, or knock on your door, then put them in the balcony, if that doesn't work, lock them out of your theater. It is not "being a bad person".

Here is the poem that the book was based on, unfortunately no one can find who the author was:

"Everyone Can't be in your front row"

Life is a theater so invite your audiences carefully. Not everyone is holy enough and healthy enough to have a FRONT ROW seat in our lives.
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go, or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going-anywhere relationships, friendships, fellowships and family!
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

Observe the relationships around you. Pay attention to: Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are just going downhill?

When you leave certain people, do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know and appreciate you and the gift that lies within you?
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

The more you seek God and the things of God, the more you seek quality, the more you seek not just the hand of God but the face of God, the more you seek things honorable, the more you seek growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you, the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the FRONT ROW and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW.

You cannot change the people around you...but you can change the people you are around!
Ask God for wisdom and discernment and choose wisely the people who sit in the FRONT ROW of your life.

Remember that FRONT ROW seats are for special and deserving people and those who sit in your FRONT ROW should be chosen carefully.
Everyone Can't be in Your FRONT ROW
Author: Unknown

Be careful who you allow in your front row, and even who you give a ticket to for your theater!



Peshaui Wequashimese



(C)2013 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.