Be yourself, and don't go to extremes. Balance

First let me say thanks to all who commented, wrote, or sent me pictures from "People of Walmart" to illustrate what their family members wore...GASP. The "we know why they call them Ugg's cause their ugly" comments were top, followed by allowing your thong to show over the top of your pants, and your pants to hang half way down your butt. All good examples, even though we were talking about age appropriateness. If you are not attending a rave or frat party, or of that age group that does so.....please stop. As a matter of fact, stop anyway, you  guys are right, it is ridiculous at any age.

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OK, a topic that came up a few times yesterday in the comments were how people do whatever their Boyfriend/Girlfriend does. I had folks say that is cute when you are 16 and still discovering the world, but that we should be more secure in who we are at 30-????. A few said that they are all about change and taking on new things, but that just like dressing to look younger, there are people that take on things that young people do, to make people think they are younger, cool, or fun. The comments that mentioned the situation in detail, said they felt that it was because a new person was in a person's life who acted that way.

The flip side of that is that some of your friends will decide to pull away from the group and do other things. Friends do slip away, it doesn't mean that they were not real friends, it means that they are growing, changing and adapting. Going off to take on a new love's passion is not necessarily a bad thing. When the new love makes sure they wall off all friends so they can take advantage of your friend, that is different, but it is a fine line, and remember that your feelings will be colored by your wants, needs and desires. Best thing to do is stand back and see what happens.

Having a new person bring new experiences to your life is not a bad thing. At all. When you don't know what YOU want or like, and just jump from thing to thing, it is time to sit down and see why you can't focus, it still may not be a bad thing. However if you are 40 something and going to the clubs with people less than half your age just becasue you want to be young again.....problem.

We are sent to this earth to live a good life. To learn , grow,  have experiences that we can use to teach others. That means going through a progression, and progressions don't go backwards. When we learn from an experience, we then use that knowledge and life lesson to do better and to help others....or we suffer the fate of Karma in several forms. Karma is an overused word, but it is a reality. Some people get "instant Karma" and others deal with it later , but it always comes into play. The Universe always needs to stay in balance.

Balance and the yin and the yang mean that there are young and old;  smart and not so smart; good people and bad people; people prospering and people starving; people dying young and people living to 100 plus years; the sick and the healthy, the list goes on and on. What the Universe doesn't like is extremes. If you look at the Taiji (the yin/yang symbol), you will see a little dot of white in the black, and a little dot of black in the white. There always has to be a bit of the opposite in everything we are and do, or there is an extreme that causes chaos.

Look at what extremist Muslims do. Kill, in mass numbers. Extremism is never a good thing. Never. Not anywhere. Not in thumping on the Bible or the Koran, not in seeking pleasure, wealth, and even health.

It is OK to have a passion, as long as that does not interfere with your life. Then it is an obsession. I have a client that loves her exotic birds, but she has not gone on vacation in 8 years because she fears that leaving the birds will stress them out and they may die. At this point she may be right. But it isn't a healthy life, never leaving the house because of a pet. We have to make sure that when we are passionate about something we do not slip into turning that passion into a burden.

Take on new things that you like, but know why you like them. Take on endeavors and loves of your love so you can share with them, but make sure that you really want to be there and they really want you to be there. Make sure that you know yourself. Make sure that your new like, doesn't become an obsession that is harmful to you.

Be yourself. Not someone else, not a younger version of you, not a shell of a person who is living just to win a popularity contest. Be you.

Balance.


Peshaui Wequashimese




(c)2011 Dr. R M Wolf, may not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written agreement.