Don't wish revenge on anyone.....

There are a great many people out there who are hurt. I don't mean physically, but emotionally and mentally. They fear, hate, and want other people to suffer. I talk to them everyday. So many of my client's have been in bad situations and relationships, even business deals.

Unfortunately it is the time of year when there is so much going on that isn't good. There are scams galore from things that just jerk your chain (like internet stories that get passed around) to outright thievery. There are also people who don't want "to be alone for the holidays". They want a partner.  Partners are sometimes nice to have, but bringing in a partner, who is a problem person, to ruin your holiday, isn't such a great idea.

What about family and friends? When you have no family or friends( that want anything to do with you) , and you didn't just move 1000 miles yesterday for a new job. You have a problem. Why don't you have family and friends? Or a mate? Maybe it is time to take a good long look in the mirror. When we don't like our own company, and don't want to be alone with ourselves, why would other people want to be with us?

However that is a whole other blog for another day.

Today I am going to write about wishing ill on those who have left us or hurt us. There are many people walking around exuding anger over what an ex did to them. When you are angry every day, you allow the person who hurt you to hurt you every day. The anger has to go before you can have anything good come to you. The Universe isn't sending Prince Charming to an angry, vengeful witch (or worlock as the case may be). Remember like attracts like. Anger attracts anger, hate attracts hate, and then there is this wonderful thing called Karma.

When a person causes hurt through personal issues where they are suffering themselves (maybe they are bipolar for instance), the Universe is not going to slam them after the break up for being bipolar. You may be very angry with them, and maybe even rightfully so. The need to wish harm or to have them "hurt just like you" however, doesn't get you anything but more grief, more loneliness and more  upset. You should NEVER wish harm on anyone for any reason. Never ask God , or whatever resonates with you, to punish someone. God knows what happened and what needs to be done. God knows what that person was contracted for before this lifewalk, and God will handle it all just perfectly.You are NOT wiser than the Highest Power, even on your best day.

NEVER do anything that attempts to take away another person's free will, to sabotage their life or cause any harm, or to wish ill will on them or anyone associated with them, it will ALWAYS come back on YOU. The Universe is pretty serious about this, so serious that it comes back threefold. When you have said something like "Why does my ex have a great new romance when I keep getting jerks?", the answer is YOU bring it about. You call them in , you choose them. Usually in desperation. A race to see who will have a partner first. It is all nothing but another run straight to heartbreak.

When you say things like "I hope she does to him what he did to me", you are inviting in all kinds of negativity and disaster. Let the Universe/God/Creator handle it. Forgive, learn from the experience, and move on. Don't be in an all out rush to snatch up the first warm body that comes your way. And I will throw this in one more time also....do NOT ever be where you are not able to be independent. So many women get into relationships with a man (and I am sure it happens the other way around). Where they have no job, no money, no freedom, no friends. The man becomes more and more controlling and suddenly prince Charming becomes the one who holds the key to the prison you are trapped in.Women always say something like "but he was so nice before, what happened?" What happened was total control of your life. He doesn't have to be nice to you anymore. It is a classic way that abusers handle their relationships.

It is a sad but true scenario that many women are in. They can't leave, they don't have a dime of their own, are unemployable, have a child or children depending on them, and no where to go. Their friends and family have been weeded away from them, or ignored while they paid all their attention to Mr Wonderful, who isn't so wonderful. Now they are trapped.

There is no reason to have to have a partner for the holidays. Use all those holiday parties and get togethers to see what is out there, but don't hook up with the first warm body you see who says "hello". When you are desperate, you choose unwisely, and end up in the umpteenth relationship with a toad. It isn't worth it.

A client said to me recently.."but there is nothing to do on Christmas, nothing is open". Not true. Go have a nice Chinese dinner and hit the movies, many new releases are on Christmas Day. But whatever you do, don't go to your own pity party, it will lead to disaster. Go for a hike, go for a drive, read a good book. Don't envy others, but make your life the best it can be!

Choose well, and when things don't go right, don't wish revenge, it will just bring you right back to looking for a mate on the holidays, and another unwise choice. A cycle you don't want to be stuck in!

Choose well!



Peshaui Wequashimese




(C)2011 Dr. R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission