Can't buy love

There is a tendency for people to try to buy the love of others. Many times this is literal, as in cash, material goods and trips. It never works. Never.

There can be a short period of time when the person sticks around, but they usually have others around them who are also giving them things. Sometimes they flat out ask for things that are way above their means to purchase for themselves, sometimes they call in the make believe sick grandmother, or hurt child.

Not only do people like that give you no loyalty, but they also can make you go broke. Back in the old days rich old men would "buy" women that were young and beautiful. They could afford it, and the women did their best to be good wives, even though they didn't love the men most of the time. Now it is a free for all. Who is the highest bidder? But they don't even pretend to have loyalty. Sometimes they even tell you who bought them what so you can try to outdo the other guy.

I remember a gal once telling me that the man should spend money on her as she looked like Beyonce.  I thought, yeah, but you are a witch on your best day and the Beyonce looks don't last all that long. She was 40 and never married and couldn't understand why. The why was that guys didn't want to put up with her demands, her attitude, and her control. There are a million pretty girls out there......

People, let's think, why would you want someone who looks at you as an ATM? A person who gives you loyalty as long as you have something in your hand to give, but the moment your back is turned, is off on another adventure? Why have a person in your life who is a financial mess, and sucks your wallet dry, because unless your name is Bill Gates, that will happen sooner or later. The people who are the takers of the world do not care , at all, about the givers. They just take, take, take, until the person they are taking from wises up and moves on.

There is a flip side to this, people who don't want the gifts but have a person constantly trying to buy their love and affection even though they tell them, "no". Telling isn't enough. Don't accept the gifts. Widen the gap and make sure that you spend less and less time around that person.

There is someone for everyone, but they are our equal partners. The fairytale romance isn't the one where some guy strolls in and pays your bills. It really isn't. It is the one where you have the same goals, both work as hard at reaching them, and when someone stumbles momentarily, the other one picks up the slack. The key to love is respect, the ability to be independent, teamwork and compassion.

The bills are split 50/50 in our house. There are times when we splurge on each other, and there are big financial decisions that are made together. We don't waste the other person's hard earnings, and we don't ever not have anything we need, and we do have most of what we want. The only thing we want and don't have right now is a house in Sedona!

When the Beatles sang "Can't buy me love" , they were telling the truth. You can buy people, but not deep enough to buy love. You can't even always buy momentary loyalty. It will never, ever, work. Be generous and share with the ones you love, but don't try to buy them, they aren't for sale.

Tomorrow morning is the winter solstice, be ready for your new beginnings that bring the light back into the world!


Peshaui Wequashimese


(C) 2011 Dr. R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission