Ok this isn't difficult...create your reality

You create your reality. You create your own happiness (or lack thereof). You determine what your day will be like each day. You can learn from it, or get upset by it. You can let it out and let it go, or stew in it.

The "oh poor pitiful me" stuff that comes from people is so tiresome. There are people with REAL issues. People I know have seriously ill children, handicapped children, their homes destroyed, and more. Yet others who claim to be good people do nothing but voice words , and then tell you about their issues. Their issues are dust in the wind compared to the real issues people have. Do they lift a finger to help the ones who have serious issues????....not a pinky rises from the computer or lounge chair.

I have friends that have helped MY friends that they don't even know! Send money, give items....to people they DON'T KNOW...yet others who are "good friends" of people in real distress, do nothing but flap their gums.

People ask "why" a lot. The "whys" are very easy to see from the outside looking in. My favorite lately was "no one ever bothers to call me and tell me....". (That has been like a repetitive message from all over lately, 4 times in the past week.) Really? Does your phone not dial out???? Mine does, I am sure yours does too.  People sometimes don't "call" because they already heard your "oh woe is me" ,tale 400 times. People don't call because you just bad mouth others the whole time you are on the phone. People don't call because they know that you talk behind other people's backs and don't want to be a part of the knife sticking out between someone's shoulder blades, or the next victim.  People don't call because they really don't want to talk to you.....the old joke "He never liked you", comes to mind. People don't call becasue you don't know when to stop talking. When no one calls you, you are the common denominator. Why don't people want to talk to you???

People were not put on this planet to serve other people. Even if you do have a hangnail and the dog peed on the carpet that morning. Who cares? Stuff happens, it happens to everyone. It is the people who handle it well that have friends around them. People who call them, text them and email them, visit them and help them.

I have chronically ill friends and I don't hear about their ills every day (thank goodness), and they don't hear about my problems. When there is an issue, I ask certain people what their take is on things, and go from there. The next day, it is over, I don't ask them 200 more times or expect them to call me every day and see what is up. Too many people need constant attention and even DRAMA in their lives. When you thrive on drama, the Universe sends you drama, obviously you like it, right? Some people have drama becasue they chose a hard path, they handle it well.You can see the difference.

I do check on friends, and they check on me. When you are a person that shouts from the rooftop everyday how bad your life is, do they really expect people to ask how things are going? They already know, and they really don't want a 3 hour conversation on who did what to who, and who didn't call, and who didn't talk to you at a party.....who cares???? Seriously.

Here is my complaint, I have done all I can for some people with out even a "thank you", or an "I got your package". I have had people who claim to be friends and even say they consider me family, who can't be bothered to say "Happy anniversary" or "Happy Birthday". Then they wonder where I am in their lives. I already put them in the basement. Relationships of any kind are a 2 way street. When people repeatedly take and never give, they aren't friends, they are ticks.

 The flip side is people I have helped who manage to give me all I need... a "thank you". That's it. They are in touch, they participate in our lives. We have real friends that are there all the time. When we need help, which isn't often, we have it. When you cry and ask for help everyday and your life is not a disaster, people won't listen after a while. Remember the boy who cried wolf?

We have friends that call, not just when it serves their needs, or when they need to tell us how terrible their life is...but to talk, laugh, invite us places. We do the same in return. I have a standing date every month where I have lunch with friends.Just because we want to have lunch. We also have bonfires every month in the warmer weather, and invite our friends. We go places with groups to do things of common interest. These are things that friends do.We informally teach and learn. We share stories and laughter.

 I know people have difficulties, but when you complain that no one is throwing you a pity party, you need to know that is the EXACT reason why there is no party. People aren't on this earth to make you feel better. There are times in extreme circumstances that immediate attention is needed. But when you want attention everyday because you broke your leg in 1990, you need to wake up and get over it.

If you want friends, you need to BE a friend. When people get tiresome, you move on. When you have to hold on to people who annoy, upset, and irritate you, then you really need to take a long hard look in the mirror. Why don't you have real friends? Why do you have to keep people around you that you really don't even like? Those aren't friends. Even if you have one person that you can depend on, and that person is not there to make you feel better every day, you are doing good. When you have a bunch of them, then you are rich.

I am that kind of rich, and that keeps me from beating on my chest for attention.

You create your reality. Create a good one. Creating drama, despair, upset, pity and anger, bring those things to you.

A special thanks to Anita, Michael and Karen for helping out this past week when we had a last minute snafu! You are the greatest, and again I say THANK YOU, not just for helping, but for being in my life. You are three very special people. Love you all!!!

I help others, not complain about my life to them. I joke, laugh, and give advice. I show up for their events as much as possible, and invite them to mine. It works much better than bitching about my life everyday to them....trust me. When your life stinks...TURN IT AROUND. Only you can do that. No one said it would be easy, but even when it's hard it can still be fun!

It isn't difficult. When people ask why they have issues or no fiends, I tell them...they usually don't like the answer...yet if it makes one person grow a little, it is worth it.

Ask yourself.......Would you have you for a friend?????


Peshaui Wequashimese



(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.







I have friends that have real issues every day. From children being hospitalized, to themselves being hospitalized. From people in severe chronic pain, to people who have chronic illness. It is OK to vent and update, but we aren't on this earth to check on you every day. We aren't our brother's keeper. If you need constant attention, you need to grow up.