Sometimes the answer is somewhere in the middle

I had a little conundrum this morning. There was a request I was not willing to grant, and yet there was an obligation. What was the right answer? Many times we know the answer, we just need to talk ourselves into finding it.

First I vented along the lines of "you have got to be kidding me, I am not your PR department". Then when I was finished with that I was able to think a little more clearly. The conundrum was still the same, I wasn't going to do choice "A", and it wouldn't be right to do choice "B", that would mean not walking my talk. So was there a choice "C"? As usual, there was.

The world is not black and white. It is grey. The yin and yang have a little dot of the opposite color in the taiji. There is good in the bad, and bad in the good. There is male in the female and female in the male.

So where was that speck of the other color in my situation. I found it, and I was able to do what I "should do" without doing it in a way that was requested. To me the request was not proper.

Can you find the middle ground in every situation? Most likely. Every situation would be tough, especially when there are others involved, but it is there most of the time. Doing the right thing isn't easy, and sometimes what others request of us, isn't what is best and we need to modify things a bit. We also have to make sure we don't enable people and that we are honest with ourselves and our intent. It all sounds simple, and on a rare day it is, but usually it is not simple at all.

Choices are sometimes made for us, but not always. When something doesn't sit well with you and you have valid reasons, do not go ahead with it. It may be in a personal choice, help for another, or request from someone who you don't hold close to your heart. Put the people in the front row in your life more than the ones you have tossed in the basement.

Some well meaning folks say to let others be. We all have an obligation to try to teach. We all have an obligation to help. Do you let a child molester be? A wife beater? Someone who is cheating a friend out of their life savings? That "let others be" is pure Bliss Ninny. It keeps you from having to make hard decisions or have difficult discussions. That is NOT what life is all about. It is about having those, learning from them, and hopefully teaching others from them.

When someone's life decisions are truly non-harmful to anyone else, you can let them be. Otherwise it is your duty to speak up, correct, teach, help...depending on what the situation is. When the other will not learn, it is not on you any longer, but on them. The way to resolving things then takes other requirements. People don't have to like the way you do something, but it is not up to them to force you to change, unless you are harming yourself or others. It would be so easy to say "let Karma take care of it", but many times Karma works through humans.

DO the right thing for the right reasons......sometimes I have to stop and think a bit, but I always do.



Peshaui Wequashimese




(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.