We all have "bad days"

I have noticed so many people asking for help to be sent to those in need. It is an admirable thought. Yet, the fact of the matter is that everyone needs help. So, we should send help to everyone, right?

Wrong.

There are many people in the world who do exactly what we were told to do by Creator/God/ the Universe. We are told to have faith, be strong, learn from our negative situations and become better people day by day. We won't do any of those things unless challenges happen in some way. We won't know to be "better" if we don't see that we aren't as good as we can be, it is impossible.

We need to also be mindful that some people like to deal with issues on their own, and when they need help, they will ask for it. Always offer to help, but don't shove it down someone's throat. Don't "pray" for them to make yourself feel better, pray for them to actually help.

They may also not appreciate having the whole world knowing they are having issues. Just because you think you are being helpful, doesn't mean they are comfortable with everyone knowing their business.

When people are needing constant help, they aren't learning, aren't having faith, aren't making good choices. There are times of unexpected catastrophe, yes, but that is a rare event in our lives. Sometimes those "bad" times are just meant to be, they are Karma, they are a lesson being taught, they are a push in another direction. Sometimes they are just life.

There are times when people are upset, and I think "if that is the worst thing that happens to you in your life, than your life will be a thousand times better than most of us". There are people that thrive on disaster. They come alive when someone needs help, and I don't mean that in a good way. They spread the word, and do that extremely well, but they don't actually do anything to change things. They feel good about themselves when they are asking for help for others.Asking for help for those who want it, is a good thing, but if that is all you do , you are looking for attention and love more than actually helping anyone. It is not a good deed if you do it to get a good feeling about yourself out of it. A good deed is done totally and entirely for the person(s) needing help.

I once thought "wow people sure have a lot of bad stuff happen to them and their friends, they sure have a tough life", then I realized they created, nurtured and thrived on adversity, and not in a good way. Most likely not even in a conscious way.

Things go bad in everyone's life, yes they do, it is just that some of us handle it quite well. We don't announce our bad times for many reasons, some of them being that we know they are temporary; not wanting that ego boost or desperate need for attention; wanting to live the experience and learn from it. I noticed that creates another little monster, jealousy. Can you imagine being jealous of other people having issues? It happens too, it takes attention away from people that thrive on it. The flip side also occurs, jealousy because people have a decent life and are happy. There are people that just can't stand the fact that you are happy!

I have seen people get so caught up in the drama that they didn't notice that there were issues happening that were not shouted from the roof tops. The issues went unnoticed, because a full orchestra, planes with banners, and a PR consultant weren't hired to announce them...yes sarcastic, but still 100% true.

I have always said that people are filtering into groups, and it is happening quite strongly. I saw a big filter happen over the past week. I see who are real friends and who are friends only when they are having a need; only when they are having a drama that want someone to participate in; only when they want attention. That isn't the energy I want to swim in, nor does Matt.We had weeded our garden because of that a few months back, and it is weed time again.

To balance that, there are others who have come in to replace the old. Some were people we knew who just came closer, and others are brand new. They are authentic, good people. When people keep drifting away from you, and no new ones come in, it time to take a good look in the mirror. If you need a disaster to have your "friends" communicate with you, you dont' have any real friends.

One friend said the other day "they don't like me becasue I tell it like it is". He is a kindred spirit, "They" don't like me for the same reason, but with both of us, and all our close friends, that is OK, because we are all living in reality. We are all there for each other, we are all staying away from creating drama.

Are you a person who thrives and feels better about themselves for broadcasting negativity for yourself and others? Because no, it isn't helping. What helps is going to the person in need and saying "what can I do", then DOING IT. Not to be the Village Crier or announcing what you are doing to help. Those who really want to help, just help. They don't announce it, or look for kudos for doing it. You can reassure the person who asks for help and tell them you are helping if they need that, but this "look at me, I am a good helper person" stuff is crazy. The Universe knows what you are doing (or aren't doing). Bragging isn't listed as a virtue.

When you thrive in that energy, guess what energy will be sent your way?  Then don't ask "why is my life always such a mess?" , the answer is that you call it in.

Charity , good deeds, and love are best given personally and in a quiet, sincere manner. If you need an audience, join a theater group.(And please these includes passing around those scams that say something bad is happening)

Peshaui Weqashimese


(C) 2011 Dr. R M Wolf . May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.