There seems to be a trend of thinking that having a man's baby will make him commit. I can just about guarantee you, that commitment because you are pregnant, will NOT happen. So many women are upset because the man didn't stick around. Then they have a small child on their hands that they have to attend to by themselves physically, emotionally, mentally and financially.
When a man isn't ready for commitment to one person, he most certainly isn't ready for commitment to two people. When he thinks he can't afford to support a woman, he certainly cannot support a woman and child. Forcing or tricking a man into a commitment will not make him be a better partner. It will make him resent you. When they aren't ready, they aren't ready.
When you bring a child into the world, you have to be fully prepared to take care of that child. So many times I hear women complain that a man who had no desire to be a father or committed, isn't being a good father, or contributing. Really? That is a surprise? When you add in the fact that he resents being "forced" into a partnership, and it costs him a chunk of money via supposrt, he will be less likely to want to be around you, not more likely.
A child's biggest influence is the same gender parent, since you cannot guarantee the gender of your child, don't start its' life out at a disadvantage. When you want to have a child, there are many ways to do so, and some people that would be glad to help you, as long as you sign off responsibility. However having a child to get a man is the worst idea out there.
Children are not pawns in your relationship. That goes beyond birth to visitation schedules, and divorce. "Talking a parent down" during divorce is extremely harmful to the child and will eventually backfire on you in the long run. Never put down the other parent in front of the child, EVER. It does serious life long harm, and only makes you feel better for a moment.
Children are not pawns....they are not pawns to form a commitment, to make you feel better, to use against an ex, or to lure them back. When we switch over to the spiritual side of things, it is an even worse idea. God/Creator/the Universe isn't amused at one of its' precious creations being used to do your dirty work.
Leave children out of any unhealthy or broken relationship, at least love them that much! nd a final note, if YOU cannot afford to have them, then DON'T.
Peshaui Wequashimese
(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf, may not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission
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