You catch what you put out bait for.....

I have written on this subject before , but from work over the past few days, it bears repeating. In the world of dating and relationships, you get what you put out. What I mean by that is that whatever bait you put in the water effects what fish bites on the line.

Several women , over the past few days have had complaints that all were different circumstances, but with the same theme. They all either worked out for 6 pack abs, or dress like Beyonce' at a concert...and wondered why they:

Only attract married men looking for a good time


Have a hubby leave them for a younger (more fit/attractive), woman


Get a guy who has no interest in their lives or family, just being out and about in clubs, restaurants etc.


Is not interested in anything but sex


Has been dating for years and will not propose


Treats her like a mindless idiot


Acts all jealous all the time.

OK, Really? This is a mystery? When we portray ourselves as sexy, younger than we are, eye candy, we do not get serious men. We do not get the ones who want real strong bonds, to give respect, and treat us well. When you think that a man taking you to dinner every night to show you off is flattering, it is, and that is all that it is.

Don't confuse sexual attraction or lust, or ego (pretty lady on the arm), with love.

You want to look healthy, and neat, clean and your best. However, when you look like you belong on the cover of a sex mag or the "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit issue, you attract men who are interested in one thing. Your looks. Overdoing the looks angle gets you a shallow man. Give yourself more credit.

Recently I had a client who was a gal who always dressed provocatively. Plunging necklines, short skirts, make up , six inch heels. Did the guys swarm around her? They sure did, but most were married, or wanted one night stands. One finally moved in, didn't treat her well, and when she had a health scare, moved out while she was at work. She thought she would have to have a breast removed, and that would ruin his perfect little Barbie doll. He left without a word.
Fortunately she has not had to have her breast removed, but I told her she has an assectomy......

Another gal was always was in the gym, looking all good and trim. She hit 40 and hubby was off to a 25 year old. Wife looked good, the 25 year old looked great. It is easy to do at 25. They were married 20 years, now she is alone. She would do all kinds of flirty , sexy things and thought that would keep the spice in the marriage....it didn't.There was no foundation there to begin with, and there were probably other issues like marrying so young.  Life is life, and stuff wrinkles, sags, and even if you look great, there is a whole pack of younger ladies that look better. Always. When you have a quality guy that didn't marry you because you were the cutest sex kitten in the pack, then he will stay and not notice the 25 year old gals because he knows that there are more important things and he was attracted to more than your flat tummy.

When you pose like a sex kitten in all your pictures, you get a sex guy. When you always look healthy, happy, classy, and full of life, you get a better pick of men. Men are already visual creatures, they don't need help in that arena.

When you put out the bait of "I am sexy" you get a man who wants sex. When you put out the bait of "I am the total package", you get a man who is the total package. The creeps will be intimidated by you, and you don't need the creeps slowing you down wasting your time.

When I hear women opine that their man left them for a woman who "isn't even pretty", who is "fat", who is in some way non attractive, and she talks about the new woman like she is a dog, I know why he left. He was one of the guys who was looking for more than a pretty face, and flat tummy. He was looking for the whole package and just got the pretty bow on top. It wrapped up a hateful person. That hateful person got left behind. Women think looking very sexy will keep him around while she treats him like a dog...it won't, at least not for long.

So, when fishing, if you want quality, don't put up your sexiest picture on the website, or dress like Beyonce every time you leave the house. There are good guys out there, but when you fish in the ocean for fresh water fish with marshmallows for bait, you will either catch something totally off the charts in a bad way, or nothing at all. (In that instance.... Hope for nothing.)

Present yourself as what you are, not as what you think men want to see!



Peshaui Wequashimese



(c) 2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission