I tell my clients this every day." Love is NOT the strongest emotion, fear is". Love is close by right behind fear, but fear is the prime motivator. People love their partners, yet they check their cell phones to see if they are calling other potential partners.....fear overrides their love. I hear it all day long, every day.
When you operate on fear, you will see things from a different perspective, which is always an incorrect or skewed perspective. You won't see your boss having a meeting with a person in the department about moving her up, you will see it as they are talking about you, or you are about to lose your job.
When you operate out of fear you hear all kinds of suggestion and innuendo in people's voice and tone that are not there. People make a statement and you think they are being sarcastic, mean, or taunting.
Fear puts you at a great disadvantage. You will be SURE that your fear is justified. It usually is not. When you are the only person at the job, in your circle of friends, or in the room, that is getting upset, it isn't that the others are blind, it is that YOU are having the issue.
I have seen people do and say many things recently out of fear that were the wrong things to do and say. I have clients that make a career out of it. Sometimes people do things that they really don't think are the best things to do because they fear hurting someone's feelings. It can be that subtle to the seriousness of truly believing that someone is out to get you, and that you need to protect yourself, when in fact nothing of the kind is going on.
When you make decision, or rather, when you act out of fear (because there is really no TRUE thinking going on at that point), you ALWAYS make a mistake. From making yourself look like a fool, to ruining your life.
Fear makes you do things you know you shouldn't, but you feel that you "have to". It makes you over-react. It makes you look bad.
I trust my instincts, and granted they are on a little bit different level than most people, but when people over-react to nothing, it amazes me. I always think "Where did that come from?". I can usually figure it out, but it doesn't make it right. We all have our reasons for what we do, just sometimes they are not the right reasons. When we cause upset in the lives of others out of our panic and need to act out, we do ourselves and others a great disservice.It can have major effects from being ostracized from a group to fired from a job.
Before you do anything, from checking cell phones, to complaining about a co-worker, ask yourself "Why", then test your theory, your "why" so to speak. When others react by looking at you like you are crazy, then don't pursue it. You can investigate it, but don't react to it.
A life lived based on fear is not being lived at all.
Act, do not react....and my little mantra fits here as well. Do the right things FOR THE RIGHT REASONS, and you will never go wrong!
(C)2012 Dr R M Wolf. May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.