Party blog recieved a TON of email

Apparently the whole "party thing" was a huge topic. I didn't expect it to be so, but it was.Many don't want to say anything to the offenders so they don't cause issues. There were all kinds of emails in my box yesterday and last night...there were more complaints than I had, but here is what folks asked me to mention:

RSVP- Just about every email mentioned that people don't bother to tell you if they are coming or not. This is important to the host from how much food , bottled water, paper plates, drinks, party favors, and chairs. One comment also said that if they know person "X" is coming , they can't invite person "Y", so it is nice to know. Many also said that those who don't respond to the invite, just simply don't get asked to attend anymore.

Another complaint on the RSVP topic, do not ever add a guest or guests unless you ask the host first. NEVER add people to large expensive events like weddings.Period. The bride and groom have no desire to pay $80 to feed someone they never met. Many large events are on a budget, and it is NOT OK to  invite others. If the wedding invitation says your name and "guest", you may write in a name, otherwise GO ALONE. This is one of the biggest social mistakes, adding to the guest list of catered events.

Check with the host before adding anyone, many small events, the host will say "SURE".

When you RSVP one way or the other and things change NOTIFY THE HOST ASAP.

READ the invite. it may ask you to bring a particular item, or wear a particular style of clothing.

RSVP the way the hosts asks you to, don't walk up to them in a setting , like church , and say "I will be at your party Friday night". Maybe the don't want the whole church to attend.

Don't invite yourself or make sarcastic remarks about why you weren't invited. You weren't invited for a reason. Maybe it is just you, maybe there is another guest that would feel uncomfortable in your presence, and it just isn't your turn. Maybe you made a mess of the last party, literally or figuratively. Maybe the host is on a budget. Maybe you just haven't been showing up after saying you would be there, so the hosts gave up. Don't show up or ask where your invite is. When you feel there is a serious issue, contact the host and ask if you hurt or offended them in any way. You may find that at the last party you danced naked in the punch bowl and are off the list.

Bring what you say you will. Quite a few folks said that they were depending on a person to bring a certain item, and the item was forgotten . Then the person needed to leave to get whatever was needed. Many ask to BYOB. This ensures you will have the drink of your choice, the brand of your choice. You are also now responsible for your own alcohol intake. Alcohol is expensive. Read the invite, if it says "cash bar" bring cash!

Don't bring a person the host has issues with. A few people had guests brought to their parties that were people that they never wanted to see again. Usually it was a well meaning friend who brought the "never want to see you" person, to try to repair the friendship. Many times parties are at the host's home, this should be a place of refuge. One person actually brought a person who said they wanted to be friends again, and was used by that person to get into the party, where they ceremoniously tossed all the food on the floor. The other party goers managed to inflict a black eye and bruised shin before tossing the food smeared jerk out into the street.

It is simple. Answer Yes or No to your RSVP in the manner the host requests. Don't add people to the guest list. Bring what you say you will. When you can't make it , advise the host ASAP, after all, stuff does happen...but that isn't the host's problem. Don't crash, nor make sarcastic comments to the host or other guests about not being invited. Act appropriately while there. Don't bring people that you know are an issue. It really isn't hard at all, and if you really and honestly don't know why you aren't invited , send a nice note to the host. Then accept their answer, or non response. They may seriously not want to deal with you, period.

One more thing, sent by the younger generation, don't post on Facebook or TWITTER "Partying at Bob's tonight". It can make for Bob having more guests than he planned on, and also put people into the mix that maybe , just maybe shouldn't be there at all!

Do the right things for the right reasons....

Share this with all your party problem and awesome party people!


Peshaui Wequashimese
Dr. R M Wolf, PhD


(C)2011 Dr. R M Wolf, may not be used copied or reproduced without prior written permission