First an emailed statement on Friendship from yesterday:
A friend will hold you, and never say a word but let you know through their touch that you are going to be OK, and that this will pass.
There were lots of positive comments sent on the blog, but only one more description.
Yesterday there were three (ah that magic number), instances of people basically saying "if I ignore it, it will go away". Just for the record, that NEVER works. Sometimes it works for a short time, but never permanently. There is even more to it, when it comes back, it is usually worse than it was in the beginning.
Crazy people do not become sane. Evil people become more evil. Ignoring a problem doesn't mean the complainer will just shut up and go away. Medical problems always come back bigger and stronger.
Would you ignore your child hitting you and calling you a name? Would ignoring the pet urinating on the couch make it stop? Will turning a blind eye to a lover cheating make them be loyal to you? No, of course not, so why when the issue is bigger than a small child, pet, or equal do we suddenly go to ignore status? Fear. You know what I say about acting out of fear. It always makes you choose the wrong decision. The other side of the coin is "bliss ninny ". Bliss ninnies never take action and expect it to just take care of itself, THAT never happens. The Universe/God/Creator hasn't thrown any lightning bolts in eons. He expects us to step up to the plate, not sit on out butts and hope and pray. He gave us a higher functioning brain for a reason, to figure out solutions.
Ignoring something means not having the courage to face it. It means not wanting to figure out the best way to address the problem. It means being in denial. It means living in unreality. None of this will solve the problem, make it go away, or make it any better.
The desire to "ignore" came up in many ways yesterday. It never would have solved anything in all its' connotations. What it would have done was just make everything still be bad or get worse.
I did some thinking yesterday after the friendship blog, before the "denial" river started to flow in people all around me, and found that I had made and gone back on a decision several times. It was time to "cut the cord" so to speak. I have resolved to keep it permanent this time and not to continue to feel sorry for someone who brings life's issues firmly down upon their own head time after time after time.
Denial, in any form, doesn't do one ounce of good. Failure to address an issue or to respond to one also does no good.We were given brains and souls to address these situations, not ignore them. We are instruments of the Higher Power, and sometimes need to deal with difficult situations. I always do a gut check and then talk to Matt or some other trusted friends to get their take, then I act. When we refuse to act in any way, we are part of the problem.
Are you part of the problem, or part of the solution? Eldridge Cleaver, paraphrasing an old African proverb.
Be part of the solution, and that my friends takes action, response, and sometimes an uncomfortable feeling.
(C)2011 Triple Moon Goddess Gina, May not be used, copied or reproduced without prior written permission.